We have been receiving a lot of questions from our daily devotionals and podcasts, and we’re doing our best to answer them all! What a blessing! The most recent is from the devotional, What Happens When a Christian Commits a Major Sin?
A reader wrote:
“Thanks, Kimberly, for that—because recently, my pastor told his congregation that he was having a relationship with a young lady, and they were having a sexual relationship also. So, how do I follow the shepherd of our church who teaches about sin and is doing the same thing? I know we are human, and the flesh is weak. Please help me understand.”
This question is one of the most painfully real applications for everything this devotional addressed. The situation described is genuinely hard, and confusion is completely understandable. The truths we explored—that believers can fall, that forgiveness is real, and that our flesh is weak—are illustrated, painfully, by exactly what she is describing. This pastor is not an exception to Biblical truth; he is a reminder of why we need it. If you are going through something similar, here is our prayerful response:
You have asked a very practical question: How do I follow a shepherd who is doing what he preaches against? That is wise and discerning of you to ask, and I believe there are at least two things you should be asking right now.
1. Has your pastor repented, and has the church responded Biblically?
The Bible is not silent on this issue. God holds those who lead His people to a high standard of accountability, not because pastors are more valuable than others, but because the flock entrusted to this shepherd is at stake. The Bible says:
“My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment.” James 3:1
When a leader sins, the Bible prescribes a clear process. Paul wrote to Timothy:
“Do not receive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses. Those who are sinning, rebuke before all, that the rest also may fear.” 1 Timothy 5:19-20
The fact that your pastor confessed publicly is significant. It took courage, and it is the first step of true repentance. But confession alone is not the end. Genuine repentance involves turning away, submitting to accountability, and probably even stepping aside from leadership for a season of restoration. Church leadership should be actively involved in that process. If that is happening, it is a sign the church is handling this with integrity. If the confession was made, but little has changed—that is, there is no accountability, no pause in ministry, and no structured restoration—that is a serious concern.
2. Let the Holy Spirit—not your disappointment—lead your next step.
This is important: leaving or staying should never be a reaction driven by disappointment or pain alone. The Word of God is clear that it is the Holy Spirit who places us in the Body of Christ and directs our steps within it.
“And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.” Acts 2:47
This verse reminds us that it is the Lord who adds to a church. And if He is moving you elsewhere, He will make that just as clear. A decision as significant as leaving your church family should not be driven by hurt feelings or disappointment, as valid as those feelings are. Pain is real, but it is a poor compass. The Holy Spirit is our perfect compass. He promises to be our most intimate guide:
“Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left.” Isaiah 30:21
“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.” John 14:26
Pray specifically, and give God room to answer. If the church is handling this with biblical integrity, and your pastor is genuinely repentant and under accountability, God may be calling you to stay and be part of the restoration. The church is not a museum for perfect people; it is God’s rugged army to wage spiritual warfare against the enemy. We all struggle with our flesh, just like Paul described in Romans chapter 7: “When I would do good, evil is present with me.”
However, if your church leadership is minimizing the sin of the pastor and not addressing it in a Biblical manner, or you find that your ability to trust and receive teaching has been so broken that you cannot grow spiritually there, it may indeed be time to ask God to lead you somewhere else. That is not abandonment. It is stewardship of your own soul.
Just make sure it is His voice moving you, and not your disagreement, hurt feelings, or disappointment.
A final word of encouragement: the fact that this shook you reveals that you take holiness seriously. Hold on to that. Remember, God did not intend for your ultimate trust to rest in a pastor. It was always meant to rest in Jesus, our ultimate Shepherd. The Shepherd who has never failed His sheep.
“For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:15-16
Pray. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you clearly. And trust that the God who is faithful to forgive your pastor is the very same God who will faithfully guide you through this moment.
Prayer:
Heavenly Father, I come to You wounded and shaken by the failure of someone I trusted. You see my confusion, my disappointment, and the questions I am carrying, and You are not surprised by any of it. Be my Shepherd. Remind me that You have never failed, never fallen, and never once let me down. You are the same yesterday, today, and forever, and no human failure can ever change that. Heal every wound in my heart. Guard me against bitterness, cynicism, and the temptation to lose faith in Your people altogether. Holy Spirit, be my compass—not my pain, not my confusion. Lead me clearly to exactly where You need me to be. And I pray for every person who has fallen and caused hurt to others: may genuine repentance rise in their hearts, and may they know You more deeply in their brokenness than they ever did in their strength. You are a God who restores the wounded and the fallen alike. I trust You with all of it. In the faithful, never-failing name of Jesus, Amen.
