I recently received an honest question from a reader: “If a Christian commits adultery, can they be forgiven?”
This question deserves a straight, Biblical answer. But before answering, we need to start where the Bible begins—with salvation and what happens when we are born again.
So…what happens when we are born again?
Every human is designed with a body, soul, and spirit. When we are born again, something real and permanent happens to our soul and spirit. The Bible makes it abundantly clear that when we are born again, our soul and spirit have the genetics of our perfectly righteous Savior, and this part of us cannot commit sin!
“Whoever has been born of God does not sin, for His seed remains in him; and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God.” 1 John 3:9
This does not mean a believer never commits sin. It means your new nature—in your soul and spirit—is “in Christ”—and does not sin. You have been given new “spiritual DNA.” Your identity has changed. We are in Christ, and Christ cannot sin. If Jesus could sin, He would not be God. The Bible explains that when we are born again, we are a “new creation.”
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation…” 2 Corinthians 5:17
Our soul and spirit now belong to Christ, but the bad news is that our flesh has not improved at all. That’s why even a true born again believer still struggles. Paul describes the struggle between the old nature of our flesh (Adamic nature) and the new nature of our soul and spirit (in Christ) quite bluntly:
“For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.” Romans 7:19
Our soul and spirit desire righteousness, but our flesh is in bed with the enemy and constantly gravitates toward sin. That tension does not mean you’re not saved. It simply proves there’s a spiritual war.
So, let’s talk plainly about adultery, and indeed, this discussion can apply to any “big” sin. My friend, in God’s eyes, sin is sin, but in the eyes of humanity in this fallen world, the consequences of sin vary vastly. Murder does not have the same human consequence as a hateful thought, right? And Jesus made it clear that adultery is not just a sexual act when He said:
“Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28
Before God, the issue is the heart. Lust and the physical act both reveal the same root: sin. Our flesh is never any better than the day we are born again. The difference is, we now are empowered by Christ in us—to overcome sin. Does it mean we always do? Not even close. That’s why Romans Chapter 7 is so helpful when we are discouraged by our own failure. If the great apostle Paul struggled with his flesh, we can expect to as well. But in Christ, we have so much hope. We have the ability to develop a stronger addiction for the presence of God than our flesh has for sin!
So, back to the question of whether a born again believer can be forgiven for adultery.
Absolutely—without hesitation. For example, the Book of First John is clearly written to believers, not unbelievers. John makes that obvious by including himself when he says “we.” He writes, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) That “we” matters—John is speaking as someone already saved, already in a relationship with God, alongside other believers who “have fellowship” with Him. (1 John 1:6–7) This means the verse is not about becoming God’s child, but about maintaining and restoring fellowship within that relationship.
At salvation, we are justified once for all by faith in Christ (John 3:3–7; Ephesians 2:8–9; Romans 5:1), and the blood of Jesus cleanses us positionally. (1 John 1:7) In our daily walk, when our flesh sins, we disrupt closeness, not sonship. Confession is simply agreeing with God about our sin and turning from it. And when we do, He restores fellowship. So, 1 John 1:9 is not a verse about getting saved again; it’s a promise to believers that when we fail, we don’t have to hide or pretend. We come back honestly, and our faithful Father restores the closeness of the same relationship He never revoked.
Interestingly enough, the Bible does not say “some sins.” Rather, it says ALL unrighteousness. King David, after committing adultery and murder, cried out in repentant prayer:
“Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness… blot out my transgressions.” Psalms 51:1
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalms 51:10
God forgave David, not because David deserved it, but because God is merciful, and David repented. The issue is not whether a believer can fall; we can. We will. The issue is what we do next. To remain in sin as a born-again believer is miserable, because your new nature longs for close fellowship with God. Paul explains, after we are born again, we now have a choice: to be slaves of sin or slaves of righteousness:
“Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.
For sin shall NOT have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace. What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not! Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness?
But God be thanked that though you were slaves of sin, yet you obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered. And having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness. I speak in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh. For just as you presented your members [body] as slaves of uncleanness, and of lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members [body] as slaves of righteousness for holiness.” Romans 6:12-19
God does not want us living in slavery to sin, not even for a moment. Real freedom is found in repentance: turning back to Him, having the relationship restored, and walking again in the Spirit. Isn’t it a great relief that our standing with God is not based on our perfection? It is based on the righteousness of Christ imputed to us when we accepted His gift of salvation. He paid such a high price to redeem us; of course, He wants to restore the relationship!
Prayer:
Father, thank You for the grace that saves and the mercy that restores. Thank You that my righteousness is not based on my performance, but on Jesus Christ. Lord, I confess that even as a believer, my flesh is weak, and I feel the pull of it daily. But I thank You that You have given me a new nature in Christ, and that Your Spirit within me desires what is right. Thank You that when I confess my sins, You are faithful and just to forgive me and to cleanse me completely. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not let me drift back into bondage when You have already set me free. Let my life reflect repentance, gratitude, and obedience, not to earn Your love, but because I already have it. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
3 Responses
We are not under the law but under grace.
thanks Kimberly for that because recently my pastor told his congregation that he was having a relationship with a young lady and they were having sexual relationship also .so how do I follow the shepherd of our church who teach about sin and doing the same thing i know we’ll human and the flesh is week please help me understand
My friend, your question is one of the most painfully real applications of everything this devotion addresses. What you are walking through is genuinely hard, and your confusion is completely understandable. The truths we just explored — that believers can fall, that forgiveness is real, and that our flesh is weak — are actually illustrated, painfully, by exactly what you are describing. Your pastor is not an exception to Scripture; he is a reminder of why we need it. But now you are left with a very practical question: How do I follow a shepherd who is doing what he preaches against? That is wise and discerning of you to ask, and I believe two things matter most right now.
1. Has Your Pastor repented, and has the church responded Biblically?
The Bible is not silent on this. God holds those who lead His people to a higher standard of accountability — not because pastors are more valuable than others, but because the flock entrusted to them is at stake.
“My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment.” — James 3:1 NKJV
When a leader sins, the Bible prescribes a clear process. Paul wrote to Timothy: “Do not receive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses. Those who are sinning, rebuke before all, that the rest also may fear.” — 1 Timothy 5:19-20 NKJV
The fact that your pastor confessed publicly is significant — that took courage and is the first step of true repentance. But confession alone is not the finish line. Genuine repentance involves turning away, submitting to accountability, and stepping aside from leadership for a season of restoration. A church leadership team, elders, or a denominational authority should be actively involved in that process. If that is happening, it is a sign the church is handling this with integrity. If the confession was made but little has changed — no accountability, no pause in ministry, no structured restoration — that is a serious concern.
2. Let the Holy Spirit lead you; not your pain or disappointment. Here is something important: leaving or staying should never be a reaction driven by disappointment or pain alone. The Word of God is clear that it is the Holy Spirit — not our emotions, not our wounds — who places us in the Body of Christ and directs our steps within it. The Bible says: “And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.” — Acts 2:47 NKJV
This verse reminds us that it is the Lord who does the adding. He placed you in your church — and if He is moving you elsewhere, He will make that just as clear. A decision as significant as leaving your church family should not be driven by hurt feelings or disappointment, as valid as those feelings are. Pain is real, but it is a poor compass. The Holy Spirit is a perfect guide: “Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left.” — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV
Jesus said: “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.” — John 14:26 NKJV
Ask yourself honestly: Is God calling me away, or am I simply hurt and looking for an exit? Both are understandable — but only one is Spirit-led. Pray specifically and give God room to answer. If the church is handling this with biblical integrity and your pastor is genuinely repentant and under accountability, God may be calling you to stay and be part of the restoration. The Church is not a museum for perfect people; it is God’s army of flawed people who still have to battle the sin nature of our flesh like Paul described in Romans 7.
However, if leadership is minimizing the sin, there is no accountability structure in place, or you find that your ability to trust and receive teaching has been so broken that you cannot grow spiritually there — it may indeed be time to ask God to lead you somewhere else. That is not abandonment. That is stewardship of your own soul. Just make sure it is His voice moving you — not your pain.
As a final word of encouragement, remember this: Your faith is clearly real — because a person who doesn’t care about God wouldn’t be troubled by this at all. The fact that this shook you reveals that you take holiness seriously. Hold onto that. Your trust was never meant to rest in a pastor. It was always meant to rest in Jesus — the only Shepherd who has never failed His sheep.
“For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” — Hebrews 4:15-16 NKJV
Pray. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you clearly. And trust that the God who is faithful to forgive your pastor is the very same God who will faithfully guide you through this moment.
A Prayer just for you: Heavenly Father, I lift up my dear friend to You right now. Lord, You see the confusion, the disappointment, and the questions.
Remind her that You have never failed, You have never fallen, and You have never once misled Your people. You are the same yesterday, today, and forever — and no human failure can change that.
Heal every wound that has been caused by this betrayal of trust. Guard hearts against bitterness, cynicism, and the lie that Your Church cannot be trusted. And Holy Spirit, be her compass — not her confusion, and not the opinions of others. Lead her clearly, gently, and unmistakably to exactly where You need them to be.
And Lord, we also pray for the leader who has fallen. May genuine repentance rise up in his heart. May he submit to accountability, receive restoration, and come to know You more deeply in their brokenness than he ever did in his strength.
You are a God who restores — pastors, congregations, and wounded hearts alike. We trust You with all of it. In the faithful, never-failing name of Jesus, Amen.
With love and prayer for you,
Kimberly Faith