“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” Proverbs 16:32
I recently found myself in a situation with someone who triggered a torrent of unhealthy emotions. Maybe no one in the room knew what was going on inside me—it felt like I’d just been sucker-punched. My mind was flooded with anger. I wanted to retaliate. Thoughts of revenge began to mount a hostile takeover of my mind. My attitude changed. My joy departed. Even after I left the situation, the rest of my day was lousy. I was so caught up in the emotional storm that I had zero ministry to anyone.
Later that evening, the emotional storm began to take its toll, because I was sorely missing the peaceful presence of God.
I turned to God. I asked Him, “Where is the balance between acknowledging my legitimate emotional response to wrongdoing and allowing Your Spirit to rule?” This devotional is what He taught me. I pray it helps you, as it has helped me.
God created us with emotions—joy, sadness, fear, love, grief, delight. Jesus Himself felt deeply: He wept at Lazarus’ tomb (John 11:35), rejoiced in the Spirit (Luke 10:21), was filled with anger in the temple (Matthew 21:12-13), and was moved with compassion toward the hurting (Matthew 9:36).
Emotions are not sinful in and of themselves; they are part of being created in God’s image.
BUT emotions were never designed to be the ruler of our life. Left unchecked, they can distort our perception, damage relationships, and derail our spiritual growth. When we allow emotions to sit in the driver’s seat, then God’s truth and our trust in Him—take a back seat.
So, when do emotions HELP, and when are they DESTRUCTIVE?
Emotions can be healthy when they:
- Alert us to danger. Fear can prompt us to step back from harm.
- Motivate compassion. Empathy moves us to help others.
- Express the fruit of the Spirit, like love and joy.
- Signal a need for healing. Sadness, anxiety, or anger can reveal wounds God wants to address.
In these cases, emotions are messengers—they carry information to our mind so we can respond with wisdom and truth.
But emotions become unhealthy and destructive when they:
- Replace the Spirit and God’s Word in order to dictate our decisions.
- Hold us hostage to the past, keeping us from present peace.
- Fuel bitterness or resentment that poisons relationships.
- Replace truth with feelings. For example, the feeling, “I feel abandoned” outweighs, “God will never leave me nor forsake me.” (Hebrews 13:5)
When negative emotions like fear, anxiety, worry, nervousness, panic, insecurity, apprehension, helplessness, anger, rage, frustration, irritation, resentment, bitterness, hostility, hatred, contempt, sadness, grief, loneliness, hopelessness, despair, disappointment, hurt, regret, shame, guilt, jealousy, envy, covetousness, rivalry, distrust, restlessness, worthlessness, inferiority, rejection, abandonment, humiliation, embarrassment, or self-doubt—dominate us—they WILL rob us of intimacy with God. They can be used to re-direct, but they should not drown out His voice and distract us from His promises. They can ruin relationships. They can cause us to say things that can never be unsaid. They can cut unhealthy grooves in our brains which may take decades to undo. They can keep us from following God in loving obedience, which leads to our own misery. Emotions can be the enemy’s playground for wreaking havoc on our life.
We must be prepared for the triggers brought on by trauma.
So, let’s say you know you are getting ready to walk into a place tied to a past traumatic event—perhaps a hospital where you received bad news, a house where betrayal happened, or a street where you were harmed. Instantly, your body reacts: your heart races, unbidden tears pour from your eyes, anger rises, muscles tense, or you have an urge to run.
What’s happening?
Your emotions are sounding the alarm. But if you hand them the keys, they’ll steer you into fear, avoidance, and isolation. The Bible doesn’t tell us to deny or suppress that reaction; instead, it teaches us to renew our minds (Romans 12:2) and take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) so that the Spirit, NOT the fear, leads us.
Jesus set the example for us—and believe me—no one has experienced the degree of trauma that He did!
In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus experienced deep distress: “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death.” (Mark 14:34) He didn’t deny His anguish—but He didn’t let it determine His obedience, either. He prayed honestly to the Father, expressed His desire (“let this cup pass from Me”), and surrendered fully to God’s will (“nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” Matthew 26:39
This is the Biblical model:
Feel the emotion, acknowledge it before God, and submit the final decision to His Spirit, being willing to be obedient because you trust Him to walk you through it.
Jesus is the only one who was forsaken by God—He did this so we would never have to be forsaken. This is one of the many incredible benefits of the gift of salvation!
So, let’s talk about some Biblical ways to keep emotions healthy:
Acknowledge emotions without shame: King David seemed to constantly pour out his heart honestly before God in the Psalms. Naming emotions in prayer prevents them from festering.
“Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You…What can flesh do to me?” Psalm 56:3–4
“I am weary with my groaning; All night I make my bed swim…My eye wastes away because of grief.” Psalms 6:6-7
“My tears have been my food day and night… Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him.” Psalms 42:3-5
“Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire… I am weary with my crying.” Psalms 69:1-3
“Plead my cause, O Lord, with those who strive with me; Fight against those who fight against me.”
Psalms 35:1-2
Test emotions by the Word. Feelings can be sincere, but very wrong. Fear told Peter to deny Jesus; truth would have told him to stand firm. Ask: “Does your emotion align with God’s truth?”
Invite God’s Spirit to rule. Galatians 5:16: “Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” The fruit of the Spirit includes self-control (Galatians 5:23), which applies to emotional impulses.
Daily renew your mind. Renewing happens through Scripture meditation, prayer, and worship. Remember, what we think about most and talk about most is what we are worshiping. We are commanded: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2
Anchor in God’s presence instead of past pain. What does this mean? God’s presence must be so dear to us that we will do ANYTHING or give up ANYTHING OR ANYONE in order to maintain a strong sense of His presence. God is the only one who is able to PROMISE to keep our mind in peace. “You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” (Isaiah 26:3) If anyone or anything dominates our mind, then our emotions become our storm.
Train to choose obedience over impulse. Proverbs 25:28 instructs, “Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.” We must strengthen our spiritual “walls” by acting on God’s commands instead of emotional impulses
My friend, if you are about to go into a place, or encounter a person tied to past trauma:
- ACKNOWLEDGE : “Lord, this is hard for me. I feel fear rising.”
- SPEAK TRUTH to yourself: “You are with me (Isaiah 41:10), You have redeemed me (Isaiah 43:1), and You will keep me in peace.”
- REMEMBER: when God is in control of your emotions, you CAN glorify Him in all things—even this.
Our enemy wants to defeat us. Don’t let him win by destroying your most important relationships through unchecked emotions. Our culture is overrun by this problem. Instead of lashing out in anger, wounding others, withdrawing in fear, starving our relationship connections, and projecting past pain onto people who didn’t cause it—let the Spirit take your storm.
When the Spirit rules our emotions, we are empowered to respond with grace instead of harshness (Colossians 4:6); we forgive quickly (Ephesians 4:32); we build relationships by being stable and Spirit-led instead of volatile; and we lead others to live in their Divine Purpose.
This is not about becoming unfeeling—it’s about becoming Spirit-led feelers.
God’s goal isn’t to erase your emotions, but to redeem them, so they serve His purposes instead of sabotaging His work in your life. Over time, as you renew your mind and practice surrender, emotions will still speak—but they’ll stop drowning out the message of God’s truth.
Reflection Thought:
Are my emotions serving God’s purposes, or do they often steer me away from His will? This week, I will intentionally practice pausing before acting on an emotion, inviting the Spirit to lead my words and actions instead of my emotions.
Prayer:
Father, thank You for making me in Your image with the ability to feel deeply. Forgive me for the times when I’ve let my emotions lead me into sin, broken relationships, or distance from You. Teach me to acknowledge my feelings honestly, test them by Your Word, and submit them to the Spirit’s control. When I’m in places or moments that stir painful memories, help me anchor in Your presence, not my past. Renew my mind daily so that my responses reflect Your truth more than my impulses. Fill me with the fruit of the Spirit—especially self-control—and let my emotions be tools for compassion, not weapons of destruction. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
