Ernest Becker, Pulitzer Prize winner for his book “The Denial of Death, said that one ways secular people handle the loss of belief in God is by substituting Him for what he called “apocalyptic romance.” Indeed, that is what our culture has done; built an expectation that romance and sex will give us the sense of complete meaning and satisfaction. The divorce rate and the skyrocket of sexual iterations are proof that it’s not working. The fact is…
There is no PERSON on the planet qualified to love us at the deep and sustaining level that our desperate soul demands.
Yet, we are willing to have our great expectations continually shattered by a cycle of secular romance. We maintain our fairy tale belief that romance will lead us to “happily ever after.” The market for “reality” television matchmaking shows is proof. According to Wikipedia, there are, or have been over 140 of these shows on the air, yet it’s rare for any of these relationships last!
Worldly romance has taken on god-like proportions in our culture.
We have removed God from His place of being our greatest treasure and we must have a worthy substitute. You see, our culture wants love—without God. Thus, we must believe the illusion that another person can give us what we desperately need. Romance is a fleeting elation propelled by ripped abs, sexy clothes, beautiful locations, expensive toys, etc.; but—when this elusive feeling evaporates, the person you are laying next to has the same emptiness as you do. This physical and emotional passion is never enough to satisfy one person—much less two. We ALL need a deeper well to draw from and—you certainly can’t get water out of a dry well.
No one can live up to the love we’re searching for because no one—except God—IS LOVE.
What is this thing called “romance” anyway? Romance is defined by Webster as “the feeling of excitement and mystery that is associated with love.” Romance only lasts as long as the love lasts. So to keep the romance alive, you must keep the love alive—RIGHT??? So this begs the question: “What is love?” Ah, I’m glad you asked!
The world had many definitions of love; and most are associated with some expectation of being satisfied by another person. A mother desires to feel needed by her child. A child desires to be loved by a parent. A spouse expects varying degrees of physical pleasure from their mate. A friend expects emotional support. We all have expectations. If they are not satisfied, we do not FEEL loved. But HOW does GOD define love?
Well, the Bible says, “God IS love.” (1 John 4:8). Ok…so what does this “love” that God IS—look like?
Well, the Bible says:
“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”
I Corinthians 13:4-8
When we go deep into our relationship with God, we experience love the way we were created to. When God’s presence fills us, His love pours through us and we experience a supernatural excitement. I like to call it “supernatural romance!” There is nothing that compares to it—nothing at all! Unlike physical romance which seems to end in a crash of “it’s over now;” rather, the experience of God’s love takes us to higher and higher heights. We live in the wonder of “it’s just beginning.” Our ability to experience love is constantly multiplied to others. We…
…are kind, merciful, humble, polite, unselfish, think good of others and not evil, hope for good for others, do not rejoice over evil that befalls anyone [even those who have hurt us], we rejoice when truth triumphs, we bear the burdens of others, we believe in others, we have hope for others, and…our love never fails or runs out because…it comes from God.
When we love God with all our heart, mind, and soul we experience supernatural romance!
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