As I have continued to trudge through some incredibly dark valleys and cried out repeatedly to God for deliverance, I have struggled with what feels like silence on His part. It feels like He has failed me because he has not removed the pain and resolved the problems. My knowledge of God’s existence and His ability to work miracles has actually—made the journey harder. If he CAN heal; why doesn’t He??? I totally relate to the Psalmist’s statement, “I remembered God and was troubled.” (Psalm 77:3)
A little over a month ago, I found myself again at the end of my rope. For the first time I can ever remember, I felt apathetic towards God. After pleading for so long for Him to change my circumstances and yet, continuing to experience so much pain, it felt like He had “checked out” from my struggles and moved on to bigger and more usable people. My response to God was something I now realize I struggle with in life. It is commonly referred to as the “silent treatment.”
I suppose one could justify the “silent treatment” after feeling such intense frustration at doing everything imaginable to get God’s attention/response and getting what feels like no answers. I suppose there are many responses that are socially viewed as far worse. When we consider a marriage relationship, does society see it as worse to scream and yell, or to be silent? Which is perceived to be more damaging?
It was then that a few solid Christian women stepped up. I called one of them as I sobbed hysterically and asked her to pray with me. I didn’t remember how to pray; and worse, I didn’t feel like my prayers mattered. With wisdom, she did not try to argue with me or refute any of the feelings that I expressed, but instead began to pray a beautiful and sincere prayer. It was something she knew how to do because she learned through her own dark experiences. Through her prayer, I was privileged to witness her powerful relationship with God and her confidence in her ability to approach God with trust. The Bible says we may, “boldy approach the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)
I knew that my response to God was not right and that I needed to keep talking to Him, but in my despair, I didn’t know how to do it anymore.
Another friend, knowing the deep pain I had been experiencing and the pit I was beginning to fall into, gently and humbly reminded me of a few of the truths about God. Neither person preached me into a place of greater shame or despair. Rather, they gently spoke in the power of the Holy Spirit and said exactly what I needed to hear to pull me out of the great pit of despondency!
What a gift!
While it is true that silence has its place, God is teaching me that it can be far more destructive to a relationship than even the ugliest words—especially in a relationship with God! My silence towards God was a manifestation of my hopeless resignation and the false belief that He doesn’t care, doesn’t hear, and that my circumstances will never change. We will ALL suffer. The longer we live, the more pain we experience. As Christians, it is critical to realize the precious gift we have—to be able to take our pain to Christ, lay it down, and not pick it up again. He can handle it.
We can ask Him the honest and ugly questions. We can ask Him why He hasn’t fixed it. These questions take courage and faith. It might feel disrespectful and confrontational; however, in bringing it to God and reminding ourselves of the truths about Him, we are actually worshiping Him. Our hard questions and pain provide a platform to draw us closer to God!
To acknowledge God as the solution to every problem, is to acknowledge His love and Lordship.
“I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth—Praise to our God; many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord.”
We would love to hear your thoughts about this devotional. Did God speak to you or challenge your daily walk with him? Or is there a topic that you would like Kimberly to cover or expound on? Please share with us in the comments below.
To learn more about Kimberly Faith and the mission of Faith Strong, click HERE.
Out Now – Essential Faith, Volume II. Find it on Amazon by clicking HERE.
To learn more about Kimberly Faith’s ministry Fostering By Faith, click HERE.
8 Responses
Trust in His amazing love and wisdom. He will do what is best for you in His perfect timing.
Ms. Edwards,
What wonderful devotional you opened up your feelings, I have had similar thoughts like you described and God always came through. I feel blessed when I read your and Kimber’s devotionals, Kant times I feel they are written to me.
My payers are with you that God, will provide the answers and peace you desire.
What a blessing to be able to be able to “share” our struggles and learn from one another! Thank you for the prayers!
I was just asking God through the Holy Spirit on what to do to rectify a situation where, believe it or not, we said some words that has offended him and he has given me the silent treatment! He lives with me and my wife! I spoke out against his controlling nature. Although I didn’t feel like I sinned in speaking out, but maybe I did because of the way I did it! Anyway, I just ask you for your prayers that the Holy Spirit will give me wisdom and the words to speak in this situation! I just didn’t happen on this writing today! I even felt the same way about God being silent to answers to my prayers! In Which I became discouraged and even quit praying fervently! Thank you for being a blessing and may God continue to use you! May you find peace and favor in all that you do!
In His service,
Psalm 19:14
There is certainly a way to go about it when asking God the “How” and “Why” questions. I would recommend looking in the Psalms for the way to go about it. Psalm 13 is a really straightforward example. Ultimately, God knows our thoughts before we even speak out to Him. Studying more about His nature and character can help change our heart and how we think about God and will also help us through these situations as we remind ourselves of the truths about Him! I will certainly pray for you all to have wisdom in this situation!
Thank you! I must say that it is my brother. I omitted who it was in haste to write a reply! He does not go to church, but he believes in Jesus and His purpose! I will leave it at that! Thank you again!
Matthew 6:33
I have been going through some serious physical problems and some family troubles, I have begged God to please heal me and not let it be anything serious and take it away, but I feel as if my prayers are falling on deaf ears, but at the same time knowing it could be worse if not for him, why can’t I get some answers and please keep me in your prayers. I have also prayed that his will be done.
This devotional came out of a struggle of similar nature. While I cannot tell you that God has answered my prayers the way that I think He should and I cannot reassure you that He will do that for you, I know that He continues to desire a relationship with us and to hear our prayers, even when we don’t feel like He does. Keep taking your hard questions to Him-it is an act of faith and worship! Then I encourage you to remind yourselves of specific acts of his faithfulness. I will certainly be in prayer!