Imagine standing on a frozen lake, fully convinced the ice beneath your boots is thick and solid, because that is how it FEELS. Meanwhile, the ice is ACTUALLY thin, and cracking. Your friends are all telling you—“you are fine—your feelings about your situation are true.” Yet, if they know that your feelings do not change anything about the reality of the danger you are in—what kind of friends are they?
But this is exactly the kind of danger occurring right now in our culture, where our FEELINGS are being substituted for TRUTH.
So how do we help each other get out of this crazy cultural spiral?
Jesus gave us a clear path forward! When He met the woman at a well in Samaria, she had already burned through five marriages and was living with a man who was not her husband. Her entire sense of self had clearly been shaped by her FEELING that she needed a man to give her identity. So she used her body to get what she FELT she needed. Her life did not reflect decisions based upon the truth that she was beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of God—with a glorious purpose to live for His glory! Jesus engaged her with both truth and love. First, He shot straight with her about her current situation:
“Jesus said to her, ‘Go, call your husband, and come here.’ The woman answered and said, ‘I have no husband.’ Jesus said to her, ‘You have well said, “I have no husband,” for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.’” John 4:16–18
But Jesus did not shame her; rather, He offered her Himself—the living water—and revealed Himself as the Messiah to her. Notably, she was one of the first people in the Gospels to whom He chose to reveal this good news to!
“The woman said to Him, ‘I know that Messiah is coming’ (who is called Christ). ‘When He comes, He will tell us all things.’ Jesus said to her, ‘I who speak to you am He.’” John 4:25–26
Jesus gave her the full truth about herself with BOTH compassion and dignity.
This is the key! The Bible tells believers to grow up “speaking the truth in love.” (Ephesians 4:15) Not truth instead of love. Not love instead of truth. We must give both, just like the Bible describes Jesus as being “full of grace and truth.” (John 1:14) This verse has been so impactful to me that it was the inspiration behind the name of our podcast, “Truth in Love.”
Truth without love is cruel, defining brokenness with a correct answer but using truth like a weapon instead of a gift. Love without truth is just as cruel, because we become casual, uncaring observers of someone standing on that cracking ice, remaining silent so as not to offend or upset them. How is that EVER loving? Jesus was crystal clear about where real truth comes from:
“I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” (John 14:6)
Truth, is a Person to know, and the proof we actually knows Jesus shows up in how we love:
“He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” (1 John 4:8)
That is exactly what Jesus did with the woman at the well. Sharing the truth and loving well were never meant to be separate. My friend, this is so relevant in the culture we live in today, where millions are standing on precariously thin ice, on the brink of eternal death, because they are equating their feelings with truth.
Feelings rise up out of the flesh, the part of a person wired to sense and react to the physical world, and the flesh has no capability to act like Christ. Only the born again soul is capable of loving like Jesus. Every person is born with the knowledge of the truth about God. He placed the knowledge of Himself in each person, and Creation itself is a witness:
“because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them.For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse.” (Romans 1:19-20)
The Bible is clear that the truth of God’s Word is to correct our wrong thinking (and feelings). It was never meant to be gleaned from emotions.
“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” (2 Timothy 3:16)
Yet, because our culture has largely traded truth for feelings, we are experiencing the tragic consequences predicted in the Bible:
“Because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened… who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever.” Romans 1:21, 25,
The infinite worth we possess in being created in the image of God has been tragically “exchanged” for life choices that destroy us because they cannot bear the weight of our value. When human feelings are swapped in for the fixed truth of God, it makes fools out of us. And the end is exactly what we see in our culture today:
“And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.” Romans 1:28-32
Do you see how ALL of this is happening in every area of our culture today? But, my friend, we NEVER have to be disrespectful to those who have been blinded by their feelings. We can do exactly what Jesus did with the woman at the well: Use the truth as a light to guide them to the love of Jesus.
But our OWN lives must be deeply affected by the love of Jesus so that they SEE His love in us as we present the truth. We must not be walking on the same thin ice as those we are trying to help, right?!
We all struggle with substituting feelings for truth!
For example, we tend to use our feelings to deconstruct God. We never know Him for who He says He is—but rather, we create a version of Him that is corrupted by the enemy—a cruel father, a senile man upstairs, or the one who let our child die. When we fail to “retain God” in our knowledge, God does not strong-arm us into going His way. Rather, He will give us over “to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting.” (Romans 1:28) Knowing God for Who He says He is has never been about how we feel—it is learning from His Word to love and worship Him according to who He says He is.
Another example is the social media identity we curate. A version of us—the highlight reel, the filtered photo, the careful caption—which is not our true selves. But the only true measure of who we are is the version God knows—perfectly and wonderfully made by Him before we were even born. When we know Him—we love who He made us to be.
Or, consider someone suffering from what has been termed as “gender dysphoria.” Gender dysphoria is the psychological distress a person experiences when their gender identity (their feeling of being male, female, or something else) doesn’t match their biological sex. They have strong feelings that demand to be equated with biological truth, and so, of course, this creates anxiety and a sense of incongruence that causes impairment in their daily lives. If our culture increasingly “approves” of that inward feeling at the cost of the objective, biological truth—it’s no wonder that when the ice finally cracks, we witness such tragic endings to so many beautiful lives.
Remember, Jesus did not pretend that the woman’s situation was something other than what it was. He named it plainly, “you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband.” (John 4:18) But as He did, He also had compassion. This is what love requires. The Word of God and the love of Jesus are the only things powerful enough to set us free from whatever feelings we have convinced ourselves define us.
It is only when we know God—on His terms—that we can ever really know for sure who we really are because—He made us in His image.
If we want to help anyone else, then we must first be born again. Furthermore, we must be actively pursuing spiritual growth, and daily selflessness to become more like Jesus. Otherwise, we will be operating outside of truth and without love, and we will be swept onto the same cracking ice as those we are trying to help. Our feelings and God’s truth are not the same category.
We must learn this for our own sake, and we must practice it for others.
Compassion says, “I see your pain.” Truth says, “I will not let your pain redefine your reality because I don’t want you to fall through that thin ice and suffer for eternity separated from Christ.” This is Ephesians 4:15—speaking the truth in love. Truth without love is cruel. Love without truth is equally cruel. Only by God’s Spirit and the truth of His Word working together through us are we equipped to rescue those who are walking on that thin ice. We cannot rescue anyone if we, too, are walking devoid of either truth or love because then—we are also walking on thin ice!
Prayer:
Father, teach me to know You for who You say You are. Help me to be faithful, not just to read Your Word, but to make it the operating system for my mind. Help me to commit each day to living selflessly. Anchor me in Your mercy and give me the eyes of Your Spirit and the heart of Your sacrificial love for others. Help me to not be swamped and disabled by my feelings so I can be a mighty warrior for You and rescue the perishing and care for the dying. I want my life to matter for eternity! Thank you, Jesus, for setting the standard in how You lived. I love You, Father! In Jesus’ name, Amen.
