In the practice of law, I’ve seen folks with lots of money try to use the legal system to steamroll people by filing frivolous lawsuits. Lawyers are trained to use retaliation as a tactic to bring about justice. Bullies, like terrorists, often don’t respond to anything unless it’s presented in their own language. Retaliation often must be deployed in order to protect a client from injustice.
But one of the hardest lessons I had to learn as an advocate was—how to keep from making it personal.
The other attorney is not my enemy. Their client is not my enemy. I am an advocate for truth and justice. This attitude frees me to fight a good fight—for the right reasons. It also allows me to back off when justice is done. Most importantly, this perspective also allows me to have some modicum of compassion for the wrongdoer after the dust settles. There is no need to rub their face in the dirt.
Learning to live free of unnecessary retaliation is an ongoing process because our enemies are constantly luring us into this trap.
Retaliation is unhealthy if it becomes personal. The more we learn to value the presence of God in our life, the larger His mercy becomes evident to us. We value His presence more than anything else. So then—when someone trashes us on social media and calls us “Ms. Hoe” instead of “Ms. Lowe” in a courtroom lobby [yes, this recently happened 😆], ghosts or gaslights us, or stabs us in the back—we CAN train our brain to think differently about the offense.
It’s not necessarily easy, but it’s VERY possible because—with God—ALL things are possible.
You see, we choose to act with excessive retaliation when we forget the mercy of God in our own life. Irrespective of the nature of the offense, when we are close to God, our life becomes about Him—not us. Thus, when we encounter personal attacks or other unloving behavior, we understand that the problem is between the offender and God—not the offender and us. We are freed from our “me-center” and can think about the offense with the mind of Christ. When we are living in our glorious purpose to glorify God, we learn to process—even the most personal attacks—differently because we take ourselves out of the equation.
In our study on the BE-attitudes, we learned all about how to develop the necessary skills for glorifying God and living a satisfying life. We must remember that a person who is attacking others is not satisfied with themselves. They hate their own life. God is satisfied with Himself and a person who is living in His presence IS fully satisfied. Furthermore, when we’re close to God, our realization of His mercy grows. Nothing that anyone else has ever done to us compares to the magnitude of the offenses we’ve committed against Him. Unbelievably, He loves us even though He knows all of our future offenses against Him! His love challenges us to love like He does. The greatest offense anyone commits against us can be forgiven and forgotten—just like He does for us every day.
God’s mercy towards us teaches us to bury the offenses of others in the ocean of His love.
God’s presence teaches us to give the offenses to Him instead of letting them stop us. When our life belongs to God, then so, too, do the offenses. Thus, Jesus commands us:
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”
John 15:12
Christ forgives our past sins, He knows our future sins and—He still loves us in the present. If we belong to Him—we are commanded to do the same. God’s presence and His Word gives us the wisdom to discern. In fact, His Word reveals the “thoughts and intents of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12) When we allow ourselves to stay close to Him, He gives us the ability to fight the good fight for what is right and just and—when the job is done—walk away without falling into the trap of unhealthy retaliation. Ultimately, it is God who fights our battles for us! The Lord promises:
“No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me.”
Isaiah 54:17
2 Responses
Really good. Thanks
Praise God!