When my daughter told me that she and her husband and—my grandchild—were moving about 900 miles away, I’m not gonna lie—it tore me up. I couldn’t imagine not being able to hang out with my little bear anymore on the weekends. Over the next few days, my tears were embarrassingly unpredictable. Because it takes a lot to make me cry, the tears felt borderline irrational! And then there was how to explain red swollen eyes to my client or a judge while I’m in court—without sounding ridiculous? And, of course, I didn’t want the kids to know I was so sad because I really want to support them in their decision to follow God’s plan for their lives. I didn’t want my sorrow to be a source of guilt and make them doubt the plan they believed God had given them.
But—Oh Lord, sometimes God’s plan is just so hard!
And while it’s pretty easy to SAY God’s plan is always perfect, it’s often much harder to LIVE it—especially when it is sharply at odds with our heart. I am unashamed to say that hanging out with my little bear is the relationship I enjoy most. At eighteen months, she’s the purest little soul I know. She is almost always smiling or making some hilarious face. She is this Granny’s little piece of heaven. Nearly every time I think about her leaving, those dang irrational tears threaten to begin again!
So during this time I’ve had to take a huge step back and ask God to give me glimpses of the plan ahead—or, at least, let me see this situation from His perspective.
God is so faithful. He understands our needs so well. He loves our heart. So, He gave me pictures of my sweet little bear lighting up the lives of those who will be around her in her new home. Perhaps there are others who need to see her pure soul so they can know Jesus. Perhaps her parents will be presented with more opportunities for ministry. Maybe there is someone who needs to see the unmasked joy of her innocence—so they can see Jesus.
God is showing me I can replace what I’ll be missing by filling that space with what she does—shining the pure light of Jesus.
This means giving God everything and making His presence bigger in my life. I must lean into Him and give my tears to Him. The Bible says God places my tears in His bottle.
“You…put my tears into Your bottle…”
Psalms 56:8
I remember another time when I was in deep grief over the loss of a relationship and God gave me the lyrics to the song “Tears In A Bottle.” I was struck at how remarkably tender the compassion of God is towards His children. My friend, it doesn’t matter who we are or where we come from—God cares. He cares so much that He died to reconcile us to Himself through the gift of salvation.
I am reminded of my super special purpose—to glorify God. I must commit everything I love (including the little bear and her parents)—to Him. I must constantly be delighting myself in God, who is the Father of all delights! After all, He created my little bear and so to delight in Him is to experience an even greater delight than my delight in her sweet little self! Even if this does not seem possible to my small human mind—I know I can rely upon the BIG promises of God:
“TRUST in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. DELIGHT yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. COMMIT your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.”
Psalms 37:3-5
When I trust in God, delight in Him, and commit each and every moment and thing to Him—the great mystery of His remarkable plan is revealed moment by moment. God’s plans are always better than ours and He knows us better than we know ourselves. When we surrender everything to him, he peels back the shroud from the masterpiece He created. We enter into the experience of His presence. He fills the spaces of the things and people we miss with the marvelous fruits of his Spirit and we are able to process our sadness in light of HIS eternal purpose.
God knows how to satisfy and delight us.
The best plan we can have for today–is to live for His glory. It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to struggle. It’s okay to allow folks to see we’re going through stuff. But—we must not miss the immense opportunity to allow them to see Jesus walking us through it. God has a purpose and a plan. Our hope in Him in hard times is often the best evidence of Jesus anyone will ever see in us. Just as we wouldn’t deliberately plan unhappiness for anyone we love—God doesn’t either. He has a plan. We just need to draw close to Him—even when it’s hard to see the plan through our tears.
Jesus sacrificed everything to give us an exceedingly bright “future and a hope” and—He ALWAYS keeps His promises.
Jeremiah 29:11
We would love to hear your thoughts about this devotional. Did God speak to you or challenge your daily walk with him? Or is there a topic that you would like Kimberly to cover or expound on? Please share with us in the comments below.
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