Do Other People “Make You Unhappy?”

The other day, I said to a friend of mine (about someone who had disappointed me), “He makes me so unhappy!” And, for about an hour, I stewed about the incident that had “made me” unhappy. Later, I thought about my statement and it was like a little voice said to me: “WHO has the power to MAKE YOU unhappy?”

Oh…well…gosh. I often forget that the choice to be grumpy is…my choice. The person who causes us angst does not have the power to control me! 

So how do we keep people from controlling us?

God is teaching me something: People don’t make me NEARLY as unhappy when—I have HIS perspective. If I choose to be sad or angry when someone disturbs my peace, it’s often because I’ve failed to remember the big picture. In fact, it’s often because I’ve made MYSELF the big picture! Paul wrote:

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair. Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. So we fix our eyes NOT on what is seen (including actions of people who plant grump seeds), but on what is unseen (like the blessings and promises of God), since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  

2 Corinthians 4:8,15,18

If we are children of God, we have the option to be motivated by a much greater purpose than “self.“

And when we remove “self” as the center of our existence—and make God our center—our perspective finally reflects reality. We realize the offenses of others are like bullets that CAN’T hit the vital target. You see, when we are born again, we are incorruptible. Peter wrote that we have “been born again, not of corruptible seed but incorruptible, through the word of God which lives and abides forever.” (1 Peter‬ ‭1:23‬) So, for example, our body and mind is like the car. Our soul and spirit, which last forever, are like the driver. Offenses are merely bullet dings in our car— but no amount of shooting can EVER endanger our eternal life.

A person who is not born again (or even a born-again person who is wrapped up in self) thinks the frail car is the most important part of their life. They get freaked out about every ding and dent. When we allow someone who is wrapped up in what is seen (or temporary) to unseat our eternal perspective, we have allowed our perspective to spiral downward.

Don’t waste your life worrying about the dings and cracks in a car that will be eventually parked in the junkyard!

When God is in control of how we think, we’re never knocked totally out of commission because—He is never out of commission! If our mind is focused on ourselves, then our circumstances change our mood and produce a yo-yo of negative emotions and actions! 

We don’t have to live this way! 

When I feel myself struggling with anger or hurt feelings, I know I’ve shifted my focus off God’s eternal perspective. I know it’s time to ask God to refocus my mind, put the pedal to the metal, and get out of Dodge! God’s got eternal stuff for me to do!

Living in God’s perspective allows us to live in freedom!  

“For you have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”

Galatians‬ ‭5:13‬

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