How To Experience Healing After Rejection

It hurts when you care for someone deeply, then one day they completely reject you. They won’t talk to you, they won’t reconcile, they block you on social media, talk bad about you to others, and—well, I’m sure each of us could continue this list, right? How do we experience healing after this kind of pain?

In my experience, it is those that we love the MOST who often hurt us the WORST.

But—we don’t have to allow them to keep hurting us. We CAN heal from those deep wounds. Our memories don’t have to be knives that re-open wounds causing us to re-live the pain. So, how do we heal from the kind of cutting rejection that leaves us with seemingly mortal wounds? 

I want to share something a wonderful friend of mine told me. Dr. Jackie Chen served as a podiatrist in the United States Army for 20 years. We had been friends for years but reconnected when our sons were both attending West Point. When I recently injured my foot, Jackie and I were discussing the pain. She made this remarkable statement: “You can only focus on pain in one part of your body at a time.” I had never heard this before, but as I considered it; God revealed a powerful spiritual application!

Let me back up a minute. Concurrent with my broken foot, a close friend had rejected me. It wasn’t just shutting me out that hurt so badly, it was the betrayal and vindictive behavior that followed. No explanation. No opportunity to talk was given. No chance to reconcile. It was hard not to think about the wound in my heart. But then…God shifted my attention from my pain to the immense pain suffered by the ONE who lives inside me. You see, when I was born again, Christ came to live within me. I am alive in Christ.

Christ is the best part of me.

He was wounded for my transgressions and bruised for my iniquities. He was chastised to death to pay the price for my peace. Because He was rejected and crucified—my soul is healed.(‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭53‬:‭5) Now, the ONE who bore this unimaginable pain for my crimes against HIM—lives inside me. It is insane that I still often choose to engage in the sin that crucified Him, when I owe Him EVERYTHING. 

No one has sinned against me like I have sinned against Christ.

Yet, Jesus loves me still. In fact, He commands me to give Him my burdens and in exchange He will give me rest. (Matthew 11:28-30) In the same way our physical body can only focus on pain in one place at a time; the heart can only focus on pain in one place at a time. When I think of the pain Jesus endured for my sins and how much greater my crimes against His love are than anyone else’s offenses against me—well, I can’t even think of my own wounds. I think only of the One who saved me and inhabits my soul. 

The more I think about what Christ has done FOR me, the less I think about what others have done TO me.

Jesus loved us when we were His enemies. Because of this, when we are IN HIM, we can love our enemies and those who despitefully use us. (Matthew 5:44) The love of Christ within us grows when we love Him back. When we love Him with all our heart, soul, and mind, a fountain of that love coming from Him flows out to everyone—including our enemies. When Jesus is the center of our life, HIS love dwarfs the pain of sin. We can forgive and be healed. It may take time. It may take practice. But the healing is worth it!

And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”

I Peter‬ ‭4‬:‭8‬

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