The other day, I caught myself saying to a friend, “She makes me so unhappy.” Afterward, I felt my peace dissipate as I sat there replaying the incident that had “made” me unhappy, fully convinced that this other person was completely responsible for my emotions. Later, that still, small voice of God asked me: Who actually has the power to make you unhappy?
Oh. Well. Gosh.
I had handed someone else the keys to my mind and heart—and didn’t even realize I’d done it.
Here’s what God keeps patiently teaching me over and over again: No one else has the power to take my peace unless I give it to them. When someone disturbs my peace and I choose to stay disturbed, that is my choice. The offense might be real. The disappointment might be legitimate. But the decision to let it set up camp in my head and run my mood — that’s on me. And more often than not, the reason it has so much power is because I’ve made myself the center of my story. My comfort. My reputation. My expectations. Me.
Paul, writing from a prison cell, said:
“We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed… Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 16-18
What a glorious hope God’s Word gives us!
Paul wasn’t writing this from a comfortable chair with a hot cup of coffee. He was beaten, imprisoned, and shipwrecked—and he called his troubles light and momentary. Why? Because he had locked his gaze onto something so vast and eternal that his present circumstances, as brutal as they were, simply could not dominate or diminish his perspective. He had removed himself from the center and put God there instead.
This shift literally upends our bad circumstances!
Because when we are born again, we have a completely new identity, and we have God’s power to control our emotions, thoughts, and every decision we make. Peter describes it this way:
“Having been born again, not of corruptible seed but incorruptible, through the word of God which lives and abides forever.” 1 Peter 1:23
This “Word of God” that Peter is talking about is the Person of Jesus Christ. John opens his Gospel with:
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God… And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.” John 1:1,14
Jesus is the Word. And when He takes up residence inside of us, we are not left stumbling through the dark fog of our own unbalanced, turbulent emotions. He is our personal light. The Psalmist said:
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:105
When the ground ahead of you seems dark and feelings are loud and disorienting, the Word living inside WILL illuminate the next step. He doesn’t leave us alone in the chaos of what we feel—He shows us what is true. Think about what this means for us practically. Our soul, the real, eternal part of us, will never die. Indestructible. No person’s words, no betrayal, no disappointment, and no cutting remark can touch the life that God has given us.
Our body and mind are a car, and we have the choice to make God the driver. Other people’s offenses are dings and can be genuinely annoying or painful, but when God is at the wheel, they cannot take us off His road. But when we’re living self-focused, we forget who the driver should be. We grab the wheel and become distracted by every ding, treating it like a mortal wound. We obsess over the dents. We let those people who are consumed by the temporary drag us down into that same anxious, reactive, easily rattled way of living. Jesus put it plainly:
“Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul.” Matthew 10:28
Look, this doesn’t mean people won’t hurt us. But it does mean we quit allowing our feelings to govern us. When I notice I’m churning with irritation or nursing hurt feelings, it’s a signal that I’ve slid back into the driver’s seat, and I need to remind myself:
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
What guards my heart and mind is not white-knuckling my way to a better attitude. The peace of God is available to every person who brings their churned-up heart to Him instead of feeding it more grievances. My friend, in Christ, we have so much freedom:
“For you have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” Galatians 5:13
When God is driving our lives, we are fixed on what is eternal rather than what is temporary, and we are free. Free from the exhausting yo-yo of moods that rise and fall based on how people treat us. Free from the tyranny of living for approval, comfort, and self-protection. Free to actually love people, including the ones who disappoint us, because our sense of self is no longer dependent on what they do.
Let’s not spend our one beautiful lifetime obsessing over dings in a car that’s headed for the junkyard anyway! We were created for a gloriously Divine purpose and we CAN live it today. Begin to give thanks to God for everything you can think of. Ask Him to guard your heart and mind. He does a much better job with our lives than we do!
Prayer:
Father, I confess that I hand over the keys to my peace far too easily — to people, to circumstances, and to offenses that have no business running my life. Forgive me for making myself the center when You belong there. Renew my mind today. Fix my eyes on what is eternal, and pull them off what is temporary. When I feel the churning start, remind me that Your Word lives inside me — that I am not stumbling in the dark but walking in Your light. Let that light be louder than my emotions and steadier than my moods. Give me Your peace — the kind that doesn’t make sense but guards my heart anyway. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
