Even after we come to Christ and understand that righteousness is a gift of God, many of us still struggle with old patterns of thinking. For years, we may have learned to associate love with performance; acceptance with behavior; and approval with success. Those ways of thinking don’t disappear overnight. We must retrain our brain to respond differently.
When we are born again, we have a new Daddy!
But we do not come to view ourselves differently overnight. We do not come to see or understand love differently in a day. We must develop God’s perspective by experiencing His wise, strong, and loving presence.
There is no substitute for God’s presence.
This is why Scripture calls us not only to be saved, but to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2
Salvation gives us a new identity; but transformation teaches us how to use our new mind.
Picture a child who grew up under a harsh or unpredictable father—a home where affection felt uncertain and acceptance depended on behavior. Over time, that child learns to survive by performing. They discover that safety seems to come only when they stay quiet, keep their head down, and avoid drawing attention to themselves. Mistakes feel dangerous, so they learn to do everything they can not to fail. They watch every word, every expression, every action—because disappointing others brings shame, rejection, or anger. So they adapt. They become careful, cautious, compliant…not because they feel loved, but because they have learned that performance is the only way to stay safe. This kind of obedience cuts deep behavioral grooves in the brain.
Obedience becomes fear-driven rather than love-driven.
Now imagine that same child adopted into the care of a patient and gentle father—a father who provides safety, welcomes honesty, and loves freely. The new home is secure. Love is unfailing. Belonging is permanent. Yet even in the safety of this new home, the old reflexes still remain. The child may still flinch when the new father raises his voice—even when it is with joy or excitement. When they fail, their first instinct may be to hide. They may continue to work hard to earn approval, forgetting that they already belong. It takes time for them to believe that this love is real, that this father is different, and that their security no longer depends on performance.
With time, the child slowly begins to build a new history with the loving father. Day by day, experience begins to replace fear. They watch how he responds when they fail… and they discover that love is not withdrawn. They learn to speak honestly and see that they are still welcomed. They make mistakes and find correction instead of condemnation. As they observe his character, trust begins to grow. They realize—this father is different. Adoption has already given them a new identity… but it is through relationship, consistency, and time that their heart finally learns how to rest in it.
The experience of God’s presence is the most powerful force to transform our mind.
Many born-again believers carry wounds from people who were meant to love and protect them. Though God has brought us into His family, some of us still struggle to believe that His love is secure and safe. Yet God speaks over us the same truth He spoke through His Word: “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:26) Our adoption in Christ is complete—but our minds must still learn how to live as children who are safe and loved. That is why Scripture calls us to a deeper inner transformation, not just outward change: “and be renewed in the spirit of your mind.” (Ephesians 4:23) Renewal is not the erasing of our past experiences; it is the presence of God teaching us what real love is, so we desire Him more than we desire to return to the destructive slavery of sin.
For those of us who were born again after sin ravaged our lives for years; we have a lot to relearn. That’s why studying God’s Word, daily quiet time, developing a strong church community, prayer, worship, and thanksgiving are so critical. All of these practices bring us closer to the presence of our Father.
When we are positionally righteous, we are drawn to practical obedience like water in the desert.
We know God’s presence is the only healing for our soul and mind. We open His Word and allow truth to speak louder than past wounds, letting Scripture remind us who we are and whose we are. In prayer, we come honestly—not hiding our fears or failures—and we discover that God meets us with compassion, not rejection. As we worship, our hearts are re-oriented toward His faithfulness. As we are thankful, we realize just how big and gracious our God is. Through fellowship and service with other believers, God surrounds us with a tribe who keeps us accountable and in step with God’s unified purpose.
We do not have to do life alone.
“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)
Each of these components of loving obedience trains our minds to respond not like fearful servants—but like deeply loved children.
For many of us, old thoughts still whisper, “If I fail, God must be disappointed in me…If I obey well enough, God will love me more… My worth rises and falls with my behavior.” But God answers those lies with truth and grace:
“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1
“Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!” 1 John 3:1
We renew our minds as we sit with these promises in Scripture, as we come honestly to God in prayer, as we worship Him for who He is rather than striving to prove ourselves, and as we are surrounded by a community who holds us accountable. Like the adopted child slowly learning to rest in a loving father’s care, God patiently retrains our mind, through every part of our walk with Him. Through His Word, He replaces our old lies with truth. Through His Spirit, He reminds us that we belong. Through His loving discipline, He shapes us rather than shaming us. And through His faithful presence, He assures us that we are never alone. God’s goal is not improved performance—His goal is healing our identity so we can fulfill our most satisfying purpose—glorifying Him. As our confidence in Christ deepens, our obedience becomes freer, truer, and more joyful. We stop saying, “Lord, I obey so that You will love me,” and instead we learn to say, “Lord, I love You—therefore I obey.”
Born again believers are not servants trying to earn favor; we are children learning to live in the love we already possess.
But in addition to learning to think like a beloved child, we must also become acutely aware of false religious ideas that are actively being interjected into our minds. These non-Biblical views are designed to invoke fear and return us to bondage. This is what we will discuss tomorrow.
Prayer:
Father, thank You that You are a good and loving Father. Where my mind still clings to fear, striving, or insecurity, renew my thoughts by Your truth. Heal the places in my heart that learned to obey from pressure instead of love. Teach me to rest in my adoption, to trust that Your love is constant, and to walk in obedience as a joyful response to grace. Shape my desires, renew my mind, and help me live as a child who is fully and forever loved in Christ. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
