The Irreplaceable Blessing Of Brokenness (Part 2)

“Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces MUCH grain.”

~Jesus (John 12:23)

The ONLY way to be fruitful is to be broken. But the process of being broken will either make us bitter or make us better. We must never forget that we WILL always have trouble, and if we truly desire to live in God’s glorious plan for our life, we must transform our mind to be more like Christ. Then, the experience of brokenness will not make us bitter; rather, it will create a life more beautiful, wise, loving, and strong—than we ever imagined! 

This devotional is a glimpse into my testimony of brokenness. It’s NOT the story of my salvation or my journey from hypocrisy—but the story of how God is allowing brokenness to make me grow in far greater ways than I could have imagined. The growth continues. I’m so grateful. The few recent highlights I share is—not to gain sympathy—but to give you hope in your own brokenness. You were created to be a masterpiece!

Yesterday, we discussed how being broken was the place where we realize… 

WE have no more self-wisdom; 

WE have no more self-resourcefulness; 

WE have no more self-sufficiency; and 

WE have no more self-reliance!

Brokenness is a place where all we know to do is to turn our eyes up and say “God, You are my ONLY plan. I don’t have a spare plan.” It’s that bedrock experience where God brings us to the end of ourselves. As we come to the end of all of our resources, we begin the process of shifting our trust from the areas of our life where we feel strongest—to Christ alone. Those areas we feel strongest—our job, our health, our children, our marriage, our finances, our academic ability, our leadership ability, our strength, our beauty, our courage, or our popularity—must often be stripped away before we can know how frail we are without God. 

We will never know how much we need God until—God is all we have.

So, now my testimony. Over the years, I’ve prayed for God to make me more dependent upon Him, but I didn’t realize that what I was really praying for was for God to break me. I don’t think I would have EVER consciously prayed to be broken. But I had read enough about the great tragedy of Eve’s independence in the Garden of Eden and other examples of self-sufficiency from God’s Word, that I knew—learning dependence upon God is a really big deal. Our pride in our own strength and abilities place us in DIRECT opposition to God! The Bible says:

“…all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.” Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”

1 Peter 5:5-7

I don’t want to live in opposition to God—do you??? 

So I began to pray for God to teach me how to NOT rely upon my own strength and wisdom. But God’s answer to my prayer was not what I expected. It was harder, yet better, than just about anything I’ve ever experienced. God has allowed me to experience loss in almost EVERY one of the areas I’ve always considered my strength. As God allowed each one to be stripped away and showed me His power in entrusting that area to Him—I began to see the extraordinary wisdom of His plan to make me completely dependent upon Him. Believe me, it’s not an easy ride—but it’s so worth it!

So now, allow me to share a FEW of the many areas where I thought I was strong and how God empowered me when my self-reliance was stripped away:

Health and Strength: Doctors tell me I’m one of the healthiest women they know in my age group. I’m on zero meds; yet, I’ve had COVID multiple times since 2019 and each time my energy has been stripped away to nothing. Each time, for more than 4 weeks, my life has operated at nearly a dead stop. Yet, despite the fatigue and brain fog—God has produced a spiritual revival. He reminded me that without Him I am weak; thus, He must be my greatest strength. Some of the best devotionals have been written during my greatest brain fog which demonstrates the power of God’s presence and His Word overcoming my human frailty. These great revivals and precious fruit would have never been produced in a healthy, strong Kimberly. God has created empathy in me for those who are in poor health and confined. It’s a helpless feeling I had never understood. What a blessing!

Beauty: One of my bouts with COVID caused me to lose almost all my hair. It was more traumatizing than I ever expected because I didn’t realize how much my long, thick hair established my identity. But God used this experience in a profound way to solidify my identity in Him. Now, my hair has grown back and every time someone compliments it, I tell them the story of God reinforcing my identity in Him, share my testimony tract, or even the video about how God did His work in me through hair loss.

Leadership and Law Practice: I’ve practiced law for over 25 years and, according to my Pastor, Brian Disney, am a piranha in the courtroom. 🫣 Our law firm has won the “Best of the Best Award” multiple times. I was confident in my ability and hard work. But then—God allowed the rug to be ripped out from under it when my ENTIRE team of law office employees left within a period of 30 days. I’ve never felt more alone and more like a failure as a leader—in my entire career. What had I done wrong??? As the entire framework was stripped down to the bedrock and I was wondering what to do, I asked God “Am I supposed to quit the practice of law and do something else?” But that was not His plan. Rather, His plan was to take my office and make it HIS. As a result, God worked multifaceted miracles. He expanded my forgiveness and humility. He rebuilt the law office—HIS way. Through the chaos of rebuilding every element of the office, His peace in my life was so evident that one of my new team members noticed it and said “I want what you have.” I told her it was Jesus. She almost immediately accepted the gift of salvation and made Jesus her Lord and Savior! God put together a remarkable new team of born again believers who all have the same vision to glorify God. 

Finances: Since I’ve been an attorney, I don’t ever remember a time when I worried about making enough money. My dad had taught me not to spend more than I made and that’s the way I ran my practice. There was always plenty. Then COVID hit, and for three years, I experienced hand-to-mouth survival. For nearly a month, I prayed something like, “God, my life is Yours, and thus, it’s Your responsibility to pay the bills.” Well, God brought us through it. He knew that I needed three years in the financial desert to learn to trust Him to manage my finances. God is teaching me that money is not my greatest need—He is. I pray I never forget that ALL I have belongs to Him. 

Courage: Within the space of 45 days, our area was hit by tremendous storms. I was all up in the middle of it. For example, I sat in my car below an underpass while 80 mile an hour winds and hail pummeled the area. Miraculously, I drove away unscathed. A week later, I awakened shortly after midnight to hear the dreaded sound of a freight train and see a wall ripping up the valley towards my home. I’d never experienced the terror of a tornado—but again, God spared me. Then, within weeks, my home was struck by lightning—incurring over $80,000.00 in damage. The same week, we discovered several feet of standing water in the basement of our office building—causing considerable damage. By this time I was going from a woman who was fearlessly confident in herself—to someone recognizing my frailty. God must be my strong tower. He is more powerful than the storm. My courage is not ever enough. I must trust Him. God is helping me recognize the critical spiritual warfare all around me and giving me HIS courage to fight it.

These testimonies of being stripped bare in all these areas I felt strong is a testimony of God’s power. Our hardened seed of fleshly self-sufficiency can’t be broken unless we experience the pressure of absolute failure. Success never breaks us. Rather, God uses loss, disappointment, heartbreak, setback, pain and illness to work a glorious sense of dependence upon Him. Jesus is the creator of life. He grows HIS fruit. Our job is to allow Him to crack open that seed. It’s a process. But it’s so worth it!

Christians who love their earthly life more than they love God—will eventually lose it all. Jesus said to His disciples:

“If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?”

Matthew 16:24-26

We all die—and our life will either be honoring or dishonoring to our Savior.  But Jesus PROMISES, “If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.” Can you imagine what it looks like to have God the Father honor you? I want to know this experience, don’t you? Brokenness is a blessing beyond measure because it is there, in that place of humility, we abandon our resistance and we make our allegiance with our Heavenly Father. He honors this passion with eternal blessings! 

This is my experience with brokenness. Through my own new and deeper intimacy with God, I am beginning to have more of the mind of Christ. I see the way He is using my trouble for His glory. At the first sign of trouble, I’m training my mind to abandon self-reliance and I’m learning to ask God NOT—“How will You get me out of this?” but rather—“How can I glorify YOU through this?” This is huge. This is living in God’s glorious plan!

My friend, God created a masterpiece in you. Your best attempt at your own life through self-reliance will be nothing more than scratches in the sand quickly washed away by the waves of the ocean. God has a plan to create a more wise, loving, strong, and beautiful person in you than you can ever imagine. Just as the death and burial of Jesus was necessary for His glorification, before there can be resurrection power and fruitfulness in us, there must be death to self.

Allow yourself to be broken of your self-reliance and let God take over and He will display His remarkable wisdom and tremendous power in every area of your life you give Him.

‭‭We would love to hear your thoughts about this devotional. Did God speak to you or challenge your daily walk with him? Or is there a topic that you would like Kimberly to cover or expound on? Please share with us in the comments below.

To learn more about Kimberly Faith and the mission of Faith Strong, click HERE.

Out Now – Essential Faith, Volume II. Find it on Amazon by clicking HERE.

To learn more about Kimberly Faith’s ministry Fostering By Faith, click HERE.