Nurturing Healthy Emotions, Part 1: Who Is At The Center Of Your Life?

God created us to experience emotions. He even gave us a guide on how to nurture healthy emotions. As our culture increasingly distances itself from God’s Word, alternative frameworks of “truth” come into play. The guiding principles we embrace profoundly impact our emotional well-being. If it’s not God’s Word, truth becomes grounded in human perspectives. This is often referred to as “secular humanism,” where human beings, rather than God, determine what is considered “truth.” Not too long ago, secular humanism primarily relied on science as a valid rationale for departing from the principles found in God’s truth. However, in recent times, this shift has expanded beyond science, and “truth” is now based on individual FEELINGS of what is morally right. 

We are witnessing the distressing consequences in our society today, marked by emotional turmoil and shocking acts of violence. Feelings of despondency, hopelessness, and pervasive dissatisfaction are on the rise, painting a grim picture of a culture increasingly governed by turbulent and unhealthy emotions. Many have drifted so far from God’s timeless principles it is a struggle for most people to conceive of a God who is both TRUSTWORTHY and WONDERFUL. This disconnect has left a void, where human judgment, tainted by subjective perspectives and cultural influences, becomes the primary arbiter of truth. The emotional fabric of society is becoming increasingly frayed. 

Returning to a foundation grounded in God’s Word offers a path towards emotional healing.

Jesus said that the entirety of all commandments in His Word could be summed up:

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” ‭‭

Luke‬ ‭10‬:‭27‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

So where do we begin? Well, when we are born again we have all the tools we need. But we have to use them! If we desire to enjoy a healthy experience with the emotions God gave us, we must dive deep into His Word. It is our manual for healthy emotions. Our culture is telling us over and over that we can have healthy emotions—without God. Even our “Christian” culture has watered down God’s Word so much that we believe we only need a “part-time Jesus” and we can live like we want the rest of the time. In this three part-series on “Nurturing Healthy Emotions,” we are going to seek God’s answers.

Remember, trouble is with us no matter what we believe so we need to have a foundation that does not change like the wind! 

Training ourselves to have healthy emotions gives us a huge advantage in dealing with the strains of life. Whether we have lost something of value, like a career or marriage; have failed to attain something of value, such as financial stability or educational goals; or if we face a dysfunctional or distressing personal relationship…any of these things can lead to feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety, jealousy, anger, etc. Nearly all “feelings” lead to an expression of “emotions” and so we may ask what is an “emotion, anyway?” According to the American Psychological Association, “emotions” are: “Conscious mental reactions (such as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feelings usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body.”   

Psychology Today explains this in more detail: 

Having emotions is a universal experience, and every person in the world has felt angry, shy, scared, or embarrassed at some point in their lives. According to Professor James Gross, the components to feeling and emotion are:

1. The situation you are in (whatever is happening to you at that moment;)
2. The details you pay attention to;
3. Your appraisal of what the situation means for you personally; and
4. Your response, including physical changes, like blushing or shaking, and your behaviors, like shouting or crying.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dealing-emotions/202101/what-are-emotions

Applying this analysis to a minor event in your life could look like this:

1. Situation: You’re at a celebration and the person across the table makes it a point to talk to everyone at the table except you. 
2. What details will you internalize? Note and memorize all the details of the perceived snub. 
3. How does it affect you personally: If you and your feelings are the center of your world, then by your way of thinking it’s okay to hang on to this perceived snub for a number of reasons—revenge, self-preservation, self-affirmation, bitterness, etc. [Note: if you hold to the Biblical world-view, then Christ is the center of your world.  You know EXACTLY who you are in HIM and He enables you to give grace, forgive, and move on—because the offender has little to no effect on you personally]
4. Response: This obviously differs—you may be so offended, you abruptly leave the celebration; or you have it out with the person right then and there; or you go to the bathroom and cry; or, you just stew quietly and ignore the person. Your response will be in line with whatever actions affirm you personally.

This may be an overly simplistic example, but if we cull through our own experiences that have led to unhealthy emotions, we should concede that most of the time they began as small incidents which grew into disproportionately large problems. We can avoid this by learning how to process our emotions according to God’s Word. 

The foundation to nurturing healthy emotions is to make “God” and not “self” the center of our life.

To make God the center, we must first be born again. Then we must know His WORD and have an active RELATIONSHIP with Him. When we do NOT learn how to process emotions according to the TRUTH of God’s Word, then emotions that stem from anger, disappointment, dissatisfaction, jealousy, anxiety, sadness, and rage—rule our life. We do NOT have to live this way! My friend, when SELF is the center of our life, then how we “feel” sends our emotions into a tailspin. Conversely, when God is the center, we experience the wide range of healthy emotions He created for us. When God is our center, His Word and His Presence are our oxygen.

God’s Word and His presence channel our feelings into healthy emotions!

God’s Word must be the loudest voice in our head. Our love-relationship with Him must be our strongest anchor. Tomorrow we are going to explore some thoughts about how to use God’s Word AND our relationship with Him to cultivate and nurture healthy emotions by learning to know who we are. More importantly, who does GOD say we are? Hint:

God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. ‭‭‬‬

Genesis‬ ‭1‬:‭26‬-‭27‬ ‭NKJV

Making “self” the center of our existence produces unhealthy emotions. When God is the center and most important part of our life, we enjoy the healthy emotions He created within us. Tomorrow we will explore how to know who we REALLY are and how this true identity channels healthy emotions.

We would love to hear your thoughts about this devotional. Did God speak to you or challenge your daily walk with him? Or is there a topic that you would like Kimberly to cover or expound on? Please share with us in the comments below.

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