We often say, “I’ve forgiven the person who offended me,” but how can we ever know for sure? Recently, I had the opportunity to put my forgiveness to the test. Over the last 18 months, a few folks really cut me to the quick, and I’m not gonna lie, it’s been very hard to forgive them. In fact, I couldn’t and had to ask God to give me the strength to do it. When someone strikes at the very artery of both your livelihood and the foundation of God’s work in your life—it’s incredibly difficult to completely forgive and let it go. I thought I had until—God gave me a critical revelation. But before I share what He taught me, it’s so important to understand just how critical forgiveness is to the health of our heart and soul.
Our soul needs love and—not just any kind of love—we need God’s love.
The Bible says God IS love (1 John 4:8) and thus, He is the source of all real love. We don’t experience God’s love without His presence. My friend, God’s presence is necessary for the good health of our soul. It is of vital importance that we do whatever it takes to stay close to Him.
After we are born again, what is it which interrupts our close love-relationship with God?
Jesus explained:
“If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15
Forgiveness is necessary to the reconciliation of relationships. We do it for ourselves and for our relationship with God. To NOT be forgiven by God has tragic consequences for the health of our soul because it interrupts our sense of God’s presence. The Bible further explains:
“If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.” 1 John 4:20-21
That’s why we need to get forgiveness done…and we need to do it right!
So now that we understand why forgiveness is vital…let’s see if we’re actually getting it done. I sure wasn’t and I’ll tell you why. I often felt I’d forgiven someone when I didn’t feel angry or hurt anymore when I thought of them. Or, even when I’d trained my mind to become ambivalent towards them not to think of them at all. But then God brought this Bible verse to my attention:
“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also MUST do.” Colossians 3:12-13
I realized that I was not getting forgiveness done right until I truly wanted my offender blessed by God in the same measure I wanted myself blessed by God.
This was a powerfully staggering thought. I kept asking God, “How can I do this when you know what this person did to me?” He said, “You CAN’T do it without ME.” Then He reminded His lesson about the 4 trillion in my forgiveness bank account. You see, God broke the bank when He forgave me. I now have so much to give away that I can well afford to ask God to bless those who offend me.
After we are born again, blessing our offenders is never about having enough; rather, it’s about having the attitudes of Christ and being willing to give them.
Do you desire the same measure of God’s blessing for your offenders as you desire for yourself? If God has forgiven you, He has given you HIS power to forgive others in this great measure!
As I think about one person in particular, I have been asking God to give me the desire to sincerely pray that she repent and find her greatest joy in Christ. And you know what? God is answering that prayer. He put her on my prayer list. I have asked Him to surround me with the attitude of mercy as I pray for Him to lead her out of her misery and loneliness and make her part of His wonderful work. I ask God to help me pray for her like I pray for those who are beloved to me. He is. It’s amazing. It’s freeing.
When we can show kindness, humility, patience, love and a willingness to bear the burdens of those who have hurt us—we have proof—we have forgiven.
You know that you’ve truly forgiven someone when you want the SAME blessings for them that you want for yourself.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
