Episode 41: Beyond Sexual Identity & Addiction: Misty Osmon’s Story

Jacob Paul: Welcome to the truth and love podcast with your host, Kimberly Faith. The truth and love podcast seeks to present God’s timeless truth through the lens of his remarkable love.

Kimberly Faith: Welcome back to the truth and love podcast. I’m here with my very dear bestie, Misty Osmon. And Misty, welcome to podcast.

Misty Osmon: Thanks for having

Kimberly Faith: me. Absolutely. We’ve been we’ve been planning this for a while.

Misty Osmon: Yes. We have.

Kimberly Faith: And I just wanna say, appreciate you being surrendered to Christ in giving this story to God. And the glory to God in the story because it’s a magnificent story. And, thank you for being willing to be on this podcast.

Misty Osmon: You’re welcome.

Kimberly Faith: So Misty, where are you from?

Misty Osmon: I am from here, from St. Robert.

Kimberly Faith: Missouri? Missouri. Not to be confused with Misery. Correct. And, you, grew up in a military community.

Yes. And, how long how many years Well, let me ask you, did you grow up in church?

Misty Osmon: Yes. I was forced to go to church.

Kimberly Faith: Forced to go to church. Oh, that sounds very familiar. So through your whole, I guess, 18 age, I mean, childhood, I guess you’d say, were you forced to go to church pretty much? Yes. How long did it take you to fall in love with Christ and surrender to him for salvation?

Misty Osmon: I was 36. Wow.

Kimberly Faith: And so how long have you been saying not to give away your age because you look like you’re 12, so, you know.

Misty Osmon: Six years. So you

Kimberly Faith: were born again six years ago.

Misty Osmon: Yes. All

Kimberly Faith: right. And we became friends, what, three or four years ago?

Misty Osmon: It’s about four years now.

Kimberly Faith: Okay. And, so through our friendship and really we were in the same small group and, through our friendship, I got to know your story. And as part of that, Your life has blown me away. And I just, I get goosebumps when I think about how the Lord has taken you on such an extraordinary journey to where you are today. Does it kind of blow your mind too?

Misty Osmon: Yes, it

Kimberly Faith: does. And your story is so important that I really think, you know, I I know your heart is to live for God’s glory. I know that because we’ve been studying the word together for about four years now. And, I’ve just seen such a sincerity and your desire to be all that you can be for God’s glory. And that’s you encourage me.

I don’t know if anything I’ve said makes sense to you, but you encourage me. Well, thank you. And, really just thought it would be, there are a lot of people I know. There’s no question in my mind, I know will benefit from hearing your story. So, let’s start at the beginning.

You mentioned you were in church, but it took you thirty six years to find Jesus. So, can you give us an idea of what happened, or why you think it took you so long?

Misty Osmon: I feel I was dealt a bad hand, like most of us think, you know. Things didn’t go the way that we had planned. The life that I was grown up in and the people who I was around in church, they weren’t living what they were preaching to me. And I didn’t want a part of that. And I felt that if God was so loving, things wouldn’t have happened.

And if his power was what people said it was, then I wouldn’t be seeing the things that I see and things would be different.

Kimberly Faith: Like what kinds of things?

Misty Osmon: Pretty much everything in my life. My family wouldn’t have been separated. I wouldn’t have been physically, mentally and sexually abused. I wouldn’t have been left alone. I would have been loved like I felt I should have been loved.

I would have been protected. And I wouldn’t have been allowed to see some of the things that I wouldn’t let

Kimberly Faith: my child see. Right. No. Yeah. Is the reason I think your testimony is so powerful.

of all, you’re so transparent about where you’ve been. And and when I say that, I mean, and we’ll we’ll get into this, but I know you were at one point addicted to meth. You lost everything. Everything. And you’re in a a same sex relationship for a long time.

And, matter of fact, I didn’t even know that was a thing for you, until we were in a bible study one time and I was trying to give you an example. Do you remember that? Yes. It’s like, oh, Misty, pretend that you’re a lesbian. And you’re like, you look at me like, but I am.

And I was like, oh, wow. How does that, square up with your relationship with God? And that was just a hilarious conversation. It was such a good conversation. You know, because of course I had no idea.

Not that it mattered. I mean, past is your past and and we all have proclivities. Right? We all have desires that go against God’s word. And, I I just remember rejoicing in that conversation because number one, you were very comfortable talking about it.

And number two, God spirit took control of the conversation. And, you know, we just had that conversation and it was just so interesting to me during that conversation, how you said, you know, I asked you, I said, well, so like, how does that work with your, you know, if Jesus lives in you, how is that working with your desires? You know, how does that cohesive? And you sat there and you thought about it for minute and you’re like, well, you know, it’s funny you mentioned that. Haven’t had a relationship since I got saved.

Do you remember that?

Misty Osmon: Yes, I do.

Kimberly Faith: And I said, well, that shouldn’t surprise you because that’s Jesus in you has made you different, you know, and you have different desires. So anyway, I I didn’t mean to jump ahead, but I just wanna get our give our listeners kind of an idea of your story, but I want you to tell your story too. How do you so with regard to the drug use, when did you start feeling like you needed to alter your environment through any kind of substances?

Misty Osmon: I was 12 years old when I started smoking pot. Wow. And I’d already been self harming since I was about eight. Oh. And it just moved from there.

Kimberly Faith: So for anyone listening who might have that experience of self harm, what is the reason that you think you were doing that?

Misty Osmon: It was placing the pain in my heart to a physical pain. And it would go away after. It would like reset everything. If you could just hurt yourself, you would focus on a physical pain and then that pain would go away.

Kimberly Faith: I did not know that. I did not know that is a reason for self harm. And I guess that’s kind of the same with marijuana. Meaning, if you could check out to some degree, it would deaden the

Misty Osmon: pain. Yes.

Kimberly Faith: So at at what point did you like, this was all through high school, assume, that these things were going on? Yes. Self harm and so when did you feel like you were attracted to women?

Misty Osmon: I remember kissing a girl when I was 11. Mhmm. And I was attracted I I always thought girls were pretty and I never had a physical attraction towards men.

Kimberly Faith: So you’re attracted to beauty? Yes. Yeah. That’s an I mean, that’s that’s natural. Right?

Misty Osmon: And and the woman that I was attracted to were weaker women. Interesting.

Kimberly Faith: So you kind of took on that more male role in the relationship. Is that Yes. That’s so interesting. And I’ve had, I’ve had multiple conversations with people who have been in the gay and lesbian lifestyle and it’s, because it is not like it was literally conversation. It wasn’t like me preaching a sermon to them because they were coming to me because they were looking for peace.

And, it’s so interesting to hear your your experience is different than what I’ve heard. But there’s, I mean, that’s because we’re all unique. Right? Right. And I know your experience is going to help somebody listening to this podcast.

Misty Osmon: I hope so.

Kimberly Faith: Yeah. No, I know. So because you know, I was telling you in my quiet time this morning, I was like, okay, Lord, I know this is going to be big. And, and so here we are. Right.

So at what point then did you and when you were 11, you didn’t did you actually have a girlfriend or did that when did that start?

Misty Osmon: No. I got my girlfriend after I graduated high school. I moved, I met her online and I moved to Mississippi. Okay.

Kimberly Faith: Did that solve your need for happiness? Momentarily. Momentarily. What what do you think, you mentioned that cutting yourself would transfer the pain from your heart to your body basically. What were you searching for?

Happiness. What did that mean to you back when you were a kid?

Misty Osmon: I just thought everything would be okay. I would have somebody that loved me, who never left, was always there. Everything would align like you think it should in the world.

Kimberly Faith: Isn’t that interesting that you knew there was a love that was greater that you were supposed to have? Yes. And yet you’re searching for it in all the ways that didn’t satisfy.

Misty Osmon: All the ways the world tells you you could find them.

Kimberly Faith: So, you were in this Were you in that relationship long? It’s three years. And then didn’t work, I’m assuming. Absolutely not. Okay.

Well, and so at this point were you What else were you doing to find happiness?

Misty Osmon: I started a career because I’ve always had a heart to help people.

Kimberly Faith: You do have a magnificent heart by the I

Misty Osmon: became, an EMT. I wanted to help people, but I really wanted to drive fast. So that’s how I started.

Kimberly Faith: Well, maybe I should get in that profession.

Misty Osmon: And it just went for there. My love for helping people when their time of need just grew.

Kimberly Faith: Again, another desire God put inside of you, didn’t Isn’t it so interesting that the the real desires that God puts in us, the desire to love and to be loved, to help and to feel satisfied through those things, our pure desires. Yes. And then we abuse them. Yes, we do. So you became an EMT.

Did that give you some lasting satisfaction?

Misty Osmon: Not lasting, no. Because long after I started, I started, continued my habits of marijuana and my relationship with a female and just that kind of lifestyle. I was still angry and hurt and

Kimberly Faith: Yeah. You so what you’re just what I hear you describing is a a desire to satisfy something deeper with something shallow.

Misty Osmon: Yes.

Kimberly Faith: I mean, not that loving another human is shallow. It can be though because you have an expectation that they’re going to satisfy you and you crush them with that expectation and eventually you have to check out.

Misty Osmon: Yes.

Kimberly Faith: And that, you know, it’s funny. We were talking about this thing of sexual desire because I have shared this with you before about my own sin of wanting to be, you know, sexually attractive to men and how I’ve struggled with that my whole life, kind of precipitated by the same thing. I wanna be loved. And it was very much an environmental thing with me. I grew up in a hippie commune where free love meant lots of sex everywhere, all around children.

And we’re not supposed to see that when we’re little, we’re not ready for that. But it shapes us. And, so as, as you and I have journeyed through various Bible studies together, that’s one of the things that I’ve shared with you. Just it’s our desires. Our desire to be loved is a desire from God.

Our desire to use our bodies in a way that violates God’s word to find that love always leads to disaster and dissatisfaction and eventually will a very unproductive, very dissatisfied life. Because if we don’t do it God’s way, then we’re never gonna have his love. And that’s kind of what you’re saying you experienced. Yeah.

Misty Osmon: And people will always fail us and bring back that you put your trust in somebody and you think that they love you the way that you’re looking for that love. And then the time they mess up and it’s all back again.

Kimberly Faith: Yeah. Yeah. Well, and the trauma background, makes It’s like you’ve got this cut that hasn’t healed and the scabs ripped off or the scars ripped off. Yes. And yeah, I remember when we met and we started doing bible study together.

Do you remember how Do you remember the struggle we That you didn’t think that my Our friendship was gonna be I don’t know what You said something to me. I don’t know what it was. Do you remember that? About you weren’t sure if you could trust me.

Misty Osmon: Yeah.

Kimberly Faith: Yeah. Why was that? Why did you feel that way?

Misty Osmon: Because everybody I feel has let me down, but I didn’t understand that we are humans and we still have flesh. Yeah. And that’s, people are gonna let you down. Right. It’s gonna be a normal thing.

Kimberly Faith: Yeah. And what’s interesting, you’re a 100% right. And what’s interesting to me is that, you know, as you spend time with people, like we have spent four years now studying God’s word, where we are colleagues, we, you know, you watch my grandbaby sometimes, you know, so we have, because of our common relationship with God, we trust each other’s character. Yes. Even when we fail each other.

Like if I don’t text you back in, you know, forty eight hours, it’s not because I don’t like you or because I’m mad at you. It’s because I just, I’m probably busy and you know that. So it’s not like that scabs being ripped off and the same for you. I mean, I’m like, why isn’t she texting me back? I don’t even think about that.

It’s like, she must be busy, you know? And that common character in Christ gives us such a foundation for finding and experiencing and giving the love that God gives us. And that’s kind of what you found. Yes. Yeah.

So, you Tell us about your meth addiction. How did that happen? Well, my

Misty Osmon: same sex relationship of nine and a half years, it ended. Wow. Yes. And we had gotten custody of her grandchild together. And she was trying to keep the baby from me.

She was angry as she should have been. And I had lost everything. I had already lost my career.

Kimberly Faith: Because of drugs or because of something else?

Misty Osmon: It was a combination of things. Okay. Like I didn’t get fired because of drugs, but drugs led me to anger and just destruction. And it ended up taking my career in a different way. So, I knew that meth would make me not cry.

Kimberly Faith: Interesting. I didn’t know that about meth.

Misty Osmon: And I was so tired of crying that I let the wrong people in my life and they were using and they allowed me to use with them. And it sent me down the road. Was this in Mississippi? No, that was here.

Kimberly Faith: In Missouri, okay. So you had moved back here at that point?

Misty Osmon: Yes, We moved back here when my grandfather was dying so I could take care of him.

Kimberly Faith: Okay. Wow. You know, there’s just so much there. There’s so much there. You know, you talk about not wanting to cry.

That’s so interesting when you think about how we’re designed to feel sorrow, but you were on sorrow overload. Overload. Yeah. Yeah. So that’s when and you mentioned your your partner ended the relationship because at this point, it was becoming destructive to her.

Is that

Misty Osmon: I I was destructive to everything. I had I don’t really understand what was going on with

Kimberly Faith: me at that time. Mhmm.

Misty Osmon: But I had pretty much cheated. I kissed another girl. Mhmm. And she asked me about it. I told her the truth.

She kicked me out.

Kimberly Faith: I mean, in some way I can understand that. Exactly. Yeah, absolutely. And so at this point, were living in Missouri. You didn’t have You had this loss of relationship, long term relationship.

And were you addicted to meth at this point? No. Okay. So tell us what happened after that. Where did this And this is leading up to your salvation, obviously.

Misty Osmon: Yes. That’s when she was trying to take everything from me, the vehicle, the baby, you know, was still trying to be a part of her life and I didn’t have to because it wasn’t my kid, it wasn’t my grandchild. I could have walked away and been completely satisfied, but I loved that kid. We had her since she was little and she’s my kid. So I was fighting for that.

And she was taking everything, the house, the cars. I didn’t have my job. I mean, after my paramedic job, I went to work at Sonic for something a little less stressful. I ended up giving that job away trying to work on the relationship and things like that. And that didn’t work.

So I had nowhere else to turn. And the people that I was with, like I said, they were using, they didn’t seem to have a care in the world. I knew it would take the pain away and I wouldn’t have to think about it.

Kimberly Faith: So I dug in. So how long did that last? About three and a half years. Oh my gosh. And you survived?

Misty Osmon: I did.

Kimberly Faith: God has a big plan for you, girl. That’s a long time to use meth and walk away.

Misty Osmon: Yes. So what sets you free?

Kimberly Faith: Because meth is it’s a it’s a scourge.

Misty Osmon: I thought that I was going to never see the baby again, which of course she’s not a baby anymore. She’s 12 now. Right. I thought she was seriously gonna take her away and I would never see her. She had just gotten so fed up with it, you know?

And I couldn’t wait to go to church.

Kimberly Faith: And

Misty Osmon: I knew I was about to surrender my life. I was giving my life to Jesus because I had tried everything else and nothing seemed to work.

Kimberly Faith: Ain’t that crazy? How the best thing we can have is Jesus yet we fight it so hard. We fight it so hard. A long time. Yeah.

Yeah. So you went to church? I went to church. And what happened?

Misty Osmon: I was It’s a little small Baptist church, you know, so I’m sitting there waiting for the invitation at the very end. And the song was only trust him and I remember it. And I went forward and I was like, I’ve got to give my life away. And I remember God was like, I have been waiting for you. And it started from there.

I was like, okay, I’m giving it all. I’m starting at absolutely nothing. And I’m gonna build the rest of my life with you and how you tell me to do it. That is so beautiful. And that’s where

Kimberly Faith: it began. That’s where your life began. Yes. Yeah. That’s so powerful.

It’s funny. I did a podcast earlier today with a young man, Antoine Eves, described his salvation. You know, he went to church, grew up in church, went to Christian school. But when he described at age 16, his his coming to Christ, same thing. Hypocrisy, you know, he’s kinda like, yeah, these people, I don’t want this religion thing.

And then he went to a church where he saw the power of a relationship and he was like, woah, I can’t make myself good. I’m going to surrender. And that’s when my life began. Yeah. You know, it sounds like very similar to your experience.

And it’s experience, in my experience too. Did you, did you, it was the experience, you know, what did you know was different about your life when you, when you got up from that altar?

Misty Osmon: Felt accepted, like 100% accepted. That’s so powerful. With everything that I took and laid down to him, it was, I know, and I’ve been waiting and I love you.

Kimberly Faith: Oh, I love that. Yes. I love that. And you think about, know, holds most people back from salvation in my opinion is what you have to give up. I’ll have to surrender this or that, or God’s gonna take control and it’s gonna be a terrible life.

At least that was my experience. But where, when you’re at the bottom, you’re at the bottom. Absolutely. You know, and that’s where I was at age 22. It’s like, God, I, I’ve screwed this up royally.

It gets tiring. Yeah. I was exhausted. Yes. And, and I, you know, it was a different type of my life was train wrecked a different way than yours, but equally bad, you know.

And here you are at the altar receiving Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior, trusting him to make you a new person without abandon. Without care. You know it’s true. You know it’s real and that’s all you had to do. That’s it.

Yeah. So, tell us about your journey since then.

Misty Osmon: Wow. It’s been amazing. When I started, I was getting sober and I was learning how to live on my own because that was something I had to do. The time ever I was going to be alone. I was not gonna be in a relationship.

I never went a day without somebody in my life. Like when I broke up with one, it was because that day I was with somebody else. So I just moved into the next one. Wow. And this time I was just, I was gonna learn who I was.

Kimberly Faith: Oh my gosh.

Misty Osmon: Through God. And that’s what we did.

Kimberly Faith: I love that. And my experience is very similar. You know, when I was in my divorce, I’d always had a man, you know, and I didn’t know who I was. And so God’s like, let me show you who I made you to And you know, if you’re listening to this podcast and you understand what we’re talking about. In other words, you have let people make you who you think you should be or who they think you should be.

God’s got somebody better than that. Amen. He’s got somebody better than that because he will make you who he created you to be. And there’s just one of you in, I don’t know, 8,000,000,000 people. I’ve I always guess that the population of the world, however many billions of people there are.

There’s only one of you. And you’re describing Misty God remaking you into His image.

Misty Osmon: And that person is far better than I could have ever made myself or I was trying to make myself. Yeah.

Kimberly Faith: Do you like yourself? I love myself. And I know you don’t say that in a selfish way. Right. It’s you love who God made you because it’s so much better than who you ever made you to be.

Absolutely. So are you ever tempted to go back to meth?

Misty Osmon: There’s tough days, like things don’t all go away. I struggle with some mental problems and those are days that I have to press into him even harder and stay away from things that I know will get into my head. You know, Satan’s gonna get in there and he’s gonna tell you, you’re still not worthless. You still did this. You’re still not who the world says you can be.

Kimberly Faith: And

Misty Osmon: it will make you wanna do things that you know will take that away. Because our brains learn those things.

Kimberly Faith: What is the old saying, Satan calls you by your sin, but God calls you by your name?

Misty Osmon: Yes.

Kimberly Faith: Yeah, no. I can identify that because with, with regard to my, you know, one of my worst destructive habits, in my life before I truly surrendered everything to God was wanting the attention of a man, you know, and dressing in a way that attracted that attention. And I think I’ve told you the story, but I’ll never forget kind of a pivotal moment when that changed and I was really developing a relationship with God. And, this was probably just like five years ago. And, I was getting ready to go to court and I was about to walk out the door and I was dressed looking good, you know, like to attract attention, looking good.

And I, and I walked out the door to the garage and it was like, it was like I looked back for some reason and it’s like I saw God standing by my bedroom door saying, see you later. Have fun dressed like that. You know, because I’m not going. And I was like, woah, woah, woah, wait a minute. I don’t think I wanna go do my life today without God.

So, I went back to the bedroom and changed clothes. And it was like, I’ll never forget that. I’m so grateful God makes me a very visual, vivid imagination kind of person because that, I think that description helps people understand your struggle is real. Yes. Your struggle to be who God wants you to be is not a one off.

It’s day by day by day. And, you know, I know for you, if if you know, if you’re more naturally attracted to women, that’s a groove that’s cutting your brain that you have got to recut. God’s gotta recut it really, you know, to give you the desires. What is it? This, the Bible says, delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Well, your heart desires to be loved. But when you delight in the Lord, he’s gonna help you get that his way, not your way.

Misty Osmon: Right. Has that been your experience? Yeah. So, about two years after I was saved, I tried to get a job again. So I started working and I worked for about two years.

And even at my job, I would say inappropriate things and I would flirt. And this was with females. And I was like, Claire’s day, you know, God’s like, well, you can’t even act right in public. So you’re about to quit this job.

Kimberly Faith: You can’t act right in public. I love that. Yeah. So I quit my job. Was okay.

I remember that actually. Yeah. When we talked about because we were in bible study at that point. Yeah. It’s isn’t it good though?

I mean, think about how God has provided for you in this growth process. You know, they’re just the different jobs you’ve been available to do because I mean, I I’m not saying I don’t think that the the job you were at was that was necessarily the only reason God said you can’t act right in public, so we’re doing something different. I think that God has a very special ministry for you. Now you have the flexibility to do things that you because you mentioned earlier, one of the reasons you became an EMT was because you wanted to help people.

Misty Osmon: Yes.

Kimberly Faith: And has your life been kind of has that been opened up for you even since you quit that job?

Misty Osmon: Yeah. I get to help people in all kinds of ways now. And it’s this wonderful ways. I tend to surround myself with Christian people now. Mhmm.

So there’s little old ladies who need to go to the doctor who couldn’t go and will go to the doctor. There’s I have a friend, not gonna mention any names, who has a law practice who needs it beautified and I get to go be the beautifier, you know. I get to plant the plants that sit around or You do

Kimberly Faith: a great job beautifying my office. I’ll just put put it out there.

Misty Osmon: Thank you.

Kimberly Faith: It’s it’s I just see, you know, I have been on the I’ve been in the audience, I I guess I should say, and watching you grow. And I I I hold your life up as an example to people who have similar struggles, whether it be same sex lifestyle or addiction, to, chemical dependency of any kind. And as Jesus can set you free from your own, the desires that will crush you. Yes. You know?

And I, of course, use my own example for the things that I struggle with, but this is the message of hope and redemption. You can be free, you know? And, and again, I told you we’re talking about this podcast. I didn’t want to make this necessarily directed to people who are engaged in same sex relationships or whatever iteration. There’s so many iterations of of, in the sexual arena now.

I don’t even know all of them. But, you know, if your identity, if that’s your strongest identity in other words, me as a female, if my sexuality is my strongest identity, it will crush me. Because I’m gonna get old. Well, I am old. And and I’m gonna and and and and the thing that I hang my hat on, it doesn’t last.

And you’ve already experienced that. I have too. But when our strongest identity is in Christ, he is he is defining who we are because he created us, then we get to live in the fullness that he has prepared for us before the foundation of the world. Amen. It’s so it’s so incredible.

You know? I I just I don’t know. What let me ask this. How has since you’ve been born again and, you’ve been growing, you’ve been intentionally growing. If you were to tell somebody what are the things that after you received Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior, what are the things you’ve done to help basically retrain your brain to think more like in line with God’s truth?

Misty Osmon: So I’ll ask I answer that in just a There is a song. You know I am a music person. Yes. And one of my favorite songs is I am who I am because the I am tells me who I am. So when the devil is whispering in my ear, I can tell him that I’m a liar, that he’s a liar and that, no, this is what God says I am.

This is who God says I am. This is what I can do and this is where you can go.

Kimberly Faith: Like that song, when Grace sent us a song this morning about

Misty Osmon: Devil get behind me.

Kimberly Faith: Yeah, devil get behind me. I’m gonna, I don’t know, stomp you with my blood washed boots or something like Absolutely. I’m just like, yeah, that’s great, Selby.

Misty Osmon: That’s what you have to do.

Kimberly Faith: And you have to, you have to do some self talk.

Misty Osmon: Yes.

Kimberly Faith: But the best self talk is when it comes from God’s word.

Misty Osmon: Yes.

Kimberly Faith: You know, his promises. I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. I made you to greet, to glorify me. You know, we think it’s a great privilege if we, you know, could get a self ie with some superstar.

We get to live in God’s image and for His glory, there’s no greater superstar, you know, but we have to retrain ourselves to think that way. We have to, because we’re our culture, the three enemies, the devil, the flesh, and the world make God out to be who he’s not. You know, he’s the great villain. And so what what have you been doing in the six years since you’ve been saved? Because there’s a lot of people who wanna be free from whatever sin they’re engaged in, you know.

Sin is just a violation of God’s love. Right? Because his law is love. And so when we choose to live in a in a in a way that’s contrary to his law of love, we’re in sin. And it shackles us when you’ve been there, I’ve been there, still am sometimes.

Right? Not spiritually because our soul and spirit have been set free. But what have you done to help you find satisfaction in following God’s God’s ways and find that happiness that you didn’t find going your own way?

Misty Osmon: I think what I did was I forgot everything that anybody ever taught me.

Kimberly Faith: And

Misty Osmon: I opened the word and I dug in and I got into Bible studies here and I got into Bible studies there and I did Sunday service, Sunday night service, Wednesday service. When I was struggling, I’d go to the church if the door was open and I would hang out. I would do anything I could to learn what God said and not what somebody else was telling me. That’s so powerful. And I would obey him.

If he said, don’t do this, then I didn’t do it. If he said, go here, I went there. If I failed, he was waiting for me and he would pick me back up. And if I go too long and I don’t hear him, I’m tripping because there’s nothing like his presence. And I already have learned I can’t do my life myself.

I make a big mess of it. So I allow him to guide my steps and tell me where to go.

Kimberly Faith: So when you say you when you can’t feel God’s presence, you’re tripping. What does that look like?

Misty Osmon: It’s like confusion, like you’re turning in circles. Where do I go? What do I do? You have this It’s a new kind of emptiness that you experience than what I experienced before.

Kimberly Faith: I like the way you put that, a new kind of emptiness because I call it, I lose the path of peace, you know, which is which is a different way of describing it, but I think it’s the same thing. I know when I’m in God’s presence, I feel peace and satisfaction.

Misty Osmon: Yes.

Kimberly Faith: I don’t feel anxiety. And when I start getting anxious about something, I gotta take a step back. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What did I do? Where did where are you God?

Where did have I have I my own porch and you’re in the kitchen? You know, that’s always the example I use. And it’s interesting the way you describe wanting to obey God, as opposed to having to obey God. You want to do what he says and you don’t wanna do what he says you shouldn’t do. Right?

Right. And that’s not because you’re afraid of him.

Misty Osmon: It’s because I love him.

Kimberly Faith: It’s because you love him. And it’s because you’re more afraid of losing the sense of his presence than you are finding satisfaction and sin for a season. Amen. You know, and I think I’ve shared this with you, but there was a pivotal time in my walk with God where I wanted Him more than I wanted sin. I discovered that.

Yes. I I wish I could I don’t know. Maybe you could help quantify that. What does that what does that look like? How do people get there where you want God more than you want to do your own life your own way, which is what sin is really, independence from God.

Right? Original sin.

Misty Osmon: When you realize his way is so good and things that used to bother you, even if they come, they don’t affect you the way they used to when you have him at the forefront. Because troubles are gonna come. It’s just gonna happen. And when you have him fighting your battles, you know, before you get there or when you get there, he you know, it’s just it makes it completely different. And you just want more of that and less of what you can

Kimberly Faith: do yourself. That’s brilliant. And it it so well quantifies the difference between serving God because you want to versus because you have to. It’s about the relationship and benefits of the relationship.

Misty Osmon: Yes. Yeah.

Kimberly Faith: You know, it’s always amazing to me how my, I call it my anxiety gauge. You know, if I am feeling anxious and not because I saw a snake, I know you love snakes. Told you to call me next time you find one, I’ll come rescue you. But I know that I have lost a piece of past understanding and there’s nothing more precious than that. You you mentioned, you know, storms are gonna come.

Trouble. We we’re all gonna have trouble. It’s not like we’re not gonna have trouble. We are going every human on the earth has trouble. It’s do you want God to handle it or are you gonna handle it?

Misty Osmon: Yeah. Jesus says, we’re gonna have trials, he’s come to over He has come to overtake the world. I mean

Kimberly Faith: That’s right. That’s right. And he Greater is he who is in us than he that is in the And I think, you know, I I love the way you’ve described that because I don’t think that’s a reality for a lot of Christians that they they they have discovered what it means to walk in the path of peace and have a life that’s not riddled with anxiety, sleeplessness, you know, and all the things that we we battled when we’re we’re living like we should. And I’m not saying if you have a sleep problem, you’re living in sin. I’m just saying that’s just an another common symptom.

At least it was for me. So, what do you think has been, in finding this this path that you’ve that you’re on? What do you think are the enemies that you that you find most frequently cropping up and trying to derail your process of walking with God?

Misty Osmon: Possibly instant gratification. Because for so long, if I was sad or things didn’t go my if I felt unloved, love was a big thing for me and it still is. And the love of Jesus is so amazing that I don’t have to have it in another person. But when Satan comes in and he’s like, this person doesn’t have time for you today. You know, they might be at the emergency room or something, but he’ll tell me that they don’t love me because whatever reason.

Kimberly Faith: So,

Misty Osmon: I lost my train of thought.

Kimberly Faith: No, we were talking about instant gratification.

Misty Osmon: Yeah. I want to be instantly gratified. And I know that there are ways that that can be done. And I have to say, no, I hear you. This is not happening.

I know where this leads. Yeah. Jesus loves me.

Kimberly Faith: This I know. Right. Not because the Bible just tells you so, because it does tell you so, but because you’ve experienced Yeah, you experienced it. And you know, when you, I think that is, it’s so powerful what you’re saying because instant gratification is a, is a cultural norm.

Misty Osmon: Yes.

Kimberly Faith: We are, I called the microwave society. We want it now, want it yesterday. My clients want their cases over with, you know, people who get saved wanna know everything today. But think about it, if little Claire who’s, you know, just over two and a half now, knew what you knew, she wouldn’t be equipped to handle it. Cause she’s just two and a half.

Misty Osmon: I love how you said that. Cause when I started my Bible studies, you know, I started with this at the church I was going to, everybody there is in their seventies and eighties, little old ladies, you know, and they’ve been Christians for fifty, sixty years. And they’re just having these conversations and I’m like, man, I’m never going to be able to have this because I’m a baby and I didn’t know anything. You know, I’m a baby Christian is what one of my friends said. Yeah.

And I didn’t know anything, but now I can engage in some conversations and I’m like, wow. Yeah. This is cool.

Kimberly Faith: It is. And it’s what you described earlier, how you were in church all the time. You were, you were so hungry to grow. It’s the same thing that, that Antoine was talking about and his, his experience being saved at age 16. He was just devouring, you know, everything he, and he was thrust into faith Baptist church as he, that was the church he prayed.

He preached in. He was only like, had been saved less than a year and he goes, I didn’t know what to do. He’s, he’s, I just had to let God do it. And, but he also had had, you know, he went to a Christian school. He had some bible based background to draw from, you know, train up a child in the way they will go when they’re old, they won’t depart from it.

He had that foundation to pull from. But the spiritual maturity, you know, I think at least people I teach, they’re so frustrated like like one of the girls I teach, she’s like, I just wanna be able to explain like you do. And I’m like, how many years do you think I’ve studied? Right. You know, you need to you there are things you can explain.

You can tell your story. That’s the most powerful story you have is a story of how you came to know Jesus. And yeah, you should be able to understand and explain the plan of salvation. That’s why we have a website to go faith strong because if you don’t know how to do it, I don’t have to tell you. You can go read about it and or you can read the Romans road or you can you know, there’s ways to learn that, But being hungry and staying hungry is so critical.

How do you stay hungry for God?

Misty Osmon: I continue. I mean, I pick up the word in the morning. I start my day with him. I don’t go without him. I Tell us about your war room.

Oh, my my war room. I turned my closet into my prayer war room and I’ve started writing scriptures on the wall. And there’s a piece in there. You know, it’s in my whole house. I had a friend over there and we had a little discussion.

He was experiencing a whole bunch of anxiety and troubles in his life and he needed a place to crash. And I let him crash there for a little while. And he was having a rough night and he was like, You know, I don’t know what it is about this house that I feel at peace. And I was like, That’s the presence of God. He said, No, it’s not.

That’s not what it is. I’m like, No, yes, that’s really what it is. You’ve never felt it, so you don’t know that’s what it is. But that is the presence of God in this house and that’s why you feel so good here. I love that.

Yeah, and my war room is a place where I can go and I can shut everything out. I leave the phones out of there. I have, I have different resources set up, you know, on my little desk my dad built before he died, and I’ve put that in there. And it’s just somewhere I can go to shut out the world and spend time with him.

Kimberly Faith: I love that. You know, you have One of the things that’s amazing about the Lord is that he’s so rich and so good and so wise and powerful that He can take, I’ve been saved longer than you have, but I learned from you because God is teaching you. And because what He’s teaching you gives me a different dimension of who he is through you who who are a younger Christian. And and I love that God allows us to experience the humility of Jesus in being able to understand and grasp that we can learn from each other. Does that make sense?

Misty Osmon: Yeah.

Kimberly Faith: And I, your, your story about this, this gentleman that you allowed to, to, to have respite in your home and him feeling peace. That’s so how do you guard that? How do you guard that peace in your home?

Misty Osmon: You keep out the evil things. Yeah. You don’t allow them into your space because they will take over.

Kimberly Faith: It’s so funny you say that because I remember when I was this is, you know, thirteen years ago or so, John was still in high school. And I remember telling him and his friends because I had just started kind of I’ve been saved when I was 22 but I didn’t I I I really was a hypocrite. I didn’t understand how to develop a relationship. Just didn’t understand it. So as a result, the hypocritical Christianity kind of thing dominated my life for years, decades.

And then, you know, thirteen, fourteen years ago, when I was at the bottom, kinda like what you’re describing, I said that was already saved. A saved person at the bottom, you know. I surrendered to know the relationship. While I was in my in the process of building that and John was in high school and I remember him, this was kind of the place all the kids land, you know, all the basketball team, Wayne’s Hill High School. We had, you know, cooking with the teenagers night and I would always tell them, all of them, this is a place of peace.

You will not bring your evil in here nor will you wear your shoes. Your filthy boy shoes stays on the front. And, you know, it was funny. I overheard John saying one time, and he didn’t know I was listening, but he was telling a group of the basketball team, there were probably 10 kids downstairs. They’d spent the night, and I was making pancakes for them all and heard him saying, don’t do anything wrong in this house.

My mom talks to God, and you can’t lie to her. She will know, and she’ll kick you out. And I thought, boy has picked up on that. And I I was so glad because, of course, I’d never said that. Maybe not.

Maybe to kicked out part I did, you know, but I didn’t I had recognized what you’re talking about that the that peace was raining in this space. And, you know, when John wanted to watch something that would take the peace and let the let the the the evil into the house, I said, nope. Nope. You’re not watching that here. And it’s because it’s You’ve got to fight to keep your home in a place of peace.

Misty Osmon: Absolutely.

Kimberly Faith: You know? And I It makes me so happy to hear you say that. It just, you know, I know that, you’re not my child, but spiritually, feel like we’re, we’re family because we But it’s when I’ve, as I’ve watched your journey and how God has taken you just leaps and bounds ahead of what I ever imagined for you. This is my mom always says to me, so I’m gonna say it to you. You know, it just I just think about that that verse, it talks about if if, you know, there I have no greater joy than to see my children walking with God, I’m paraphrasing.

But when you have spiritual children, so to speak, you know, where you have been part of helping someone, and I will just say the blessing I’ve received in return is probably greater than what anything I’ve given you. Just so you know that. I don’t want it to sound like I feel like I, oh yes, I’m responsible for you. No, I’m not. I don’t take that at all.

I’m just saying to see that is such a blessing because you’re just a critical part of, what I consider my inner ring of Christian friends. And it it’s just such a blessing to hear you saying these, to hear you say these things, the things you do that you’re inspiring others to do that have, is leading you on this extraordinary path, this extraordinary life where you’re touching so many people. So, sorry, I didn’t mean to go off on that tangent, I I just think it’s important people understand that that that is when we invest in people’s lives with eternal things, we reap eternal blessings. Amen. And I feel like I’m reaping that through your life.

Such a blessing. Such a blessing. So if you were to Well, is there anything else you want people to know about your story? Anything at all? Like, well, let me ask this question, because you’ve you’ve shared quite a bit.

If there’s one thing that you want people to know about you, what is it?

Misty Osmon: Wow. About me?

Kimberly Faith: What or or about about anything. Yeah. When people look at you, who do you want them to see?

Misty Osmon: I want them to see Jesus.

Kimberly Faith: So that’s the one thing you want people to know

Misty Osmon: Yeah.

Kimberly Faith: About you?

Misty Osmon: I I recently went to a funeral and it was a saved person and they committed suicide. And that’s so sad because I don’t understand. I know it happens all the time. That we fall away. And it’s so important to stay in a word because the battle’s real.

And he lost his way and he lost hope. Lost sight. At his funeral, it was beautiful that people got up there and they remembered the good things about him and they said said things and that was beautiful, but nobody talked about his walk with the Lord. Nobody talked about that. And I got to thinking, was like, you know, I want somebody to say, here comes Missy to tell you about Jesus.

She’s got something else to say. Here she comes sending one of her little videos or something like that. I want people to know that that’s the big part of my life right now. And it’s so hard to communicate with other people who don’t have that desire right now. I want to share it to them.

And sometimes you just wanna shake them and you’re like, do you not see the benefits of this and where you can go? Right. What’s holding you back, but you can’t do that. They have to have their own walk with Him.

Kimberly Faith: Well, I think for whatever it’s worth, I think you are doing a great job showing people what that benefit looks like. When people meet you, they meet peace. When people meet you, they meet love. Right? Compassion, kindness.

And, you know, at the beginning of this podcast, you talked about the hat that what you were looking for, happiness, satisfaction that you were looking for and all the other things. And Christians are no exception. You know? I mean, we still have, we sleep with the enemy. Like I like to say, our flesh is no better than the day we were born again.

Absolutely. And it wants what it wants.

Misty Osmon: It does.

Kimberly Faith: And the things that you have described that you do to stay close to God, I call it staying in the kitchen with God, are the things that we have to faithfully discipline ourselves to do. Otherwise It’s hard work. It is hard work.

Misty Osmon: But it is so worth it.

Kimberly Faith: So is life. It’s hard work. And life without Christ is harder work in my opinion. But we have to readjust our thinking to wrap our mind around that reality. That life is hard.

It’s harder without God than it is with God. But until we turn that corner where we see that in action, it’s it’s a it’s it’s a discipline and at one at some point, the discipline becomes great joy because we see that that discipline brings us much better, a better satisfied, more joyful life than the discipline of living without Christ. They’re both disciplines because we’re somebody We’re gonna serve somebody. Right? Right.

Right? And maybe the devil or maybe the Lord, but we’re going to serve somebody. That’s a Bob Dylan song in case you didn’t know, but he’s saying it. It may be the devil or maybe the Lord. We’re to serve somebody.

That’s a really poor Bob Dylan invitation, but I don’t forget. I forget that line because it’s true. Jesus said, you’re either for me or against me. There’s no middle ground. And man, you just made You’ve just given this testimony about why living in the spirit is such the best addiction.

Misty Osmon: Yes, it is.

Kimberly Faith: It’s the only addiction that makes any sense or satisfies.

Misty Osmon: Yes. Gives peace, yes.

Kimberly Faith: Yeah, I mean, if you’re listening to this podcast and you are struggling with something, because I know you are, right? We all struggle. We all struggle. And and you’re trying to decide, you know, how do I find peace? How do I find satisfaction?

Missy and I, we we agree on this that there’s only one source and that’s Jesus Christ.

Misty Osmon: That’s it.

Kimberly Faith: Yeah. And when you receive him as your Lord and savior, when you give him your whole heart and you believe because he’s given you the faith and the desire to turn, which is called repentance, then you will find you have you are a new creature in Christ.

Misty Osmon: Amen.

Kimberly Faith: And then the work begins. Yes. Right? Because you’re a baby, like you mentioned earlier, and and the struggle is real, but it’s so good.

Misty Osmon: And it’s not gonna happen overnight. It’s gonna take time to work out.

Kimberly Faith: Like everything Yeah. So worth it. And you know, it’s interesting. You talk about the work you put into it, you know. Yeah.

We put work into anything we do, but there’s nothing as rewarding as the work we put into into our life with Christ.

Misty Osmon: Right.

Kimberly Faith: Because that reward is eternal. You know, what do you think? This is like, I will end with this. What do you think is the best the best reward you’re gonna get in heaven besides seeing Jesus?

Misty Osmon: Seeing the weather so you’ve lived there.

Kimberly Faith: That’s right. There’s nothing we’re taking with us in this world except souls.

Misty Osmon: That’s right.

Kimberly Faith: And so I wanna have more people than I can count come up to me and say, thank you for giving to the Lord. You’re a life that was changed and I’m changed because you were changed.

Misty Osmon: I never thought I would pray for an enemy,

Kimberly Faith: but

Misty Osmon: I wanna see those there in heaven. I hope that they experience the love and peace here so they can be there someday too.

Kimberly Faith: Yeah. Yeah. And you think about what is hell. People who are not saved are experiencing hell right now in to some degree because you’re living without a relationship with God. And ultimate hell, eternal hell is the absence of being able to sense God’s presence and all the goodness that goes along with that.

And, man, we can be there. I mean, as Christians, we’re not gonna go to hell because our soul and spirit are redeemed. We’re in Christ. But man, when we walk away from God, it gets really cold on the front porch. Yes.

You know? And so, especially when you already experienced a little bit of heaven. Well, Misty, thank you so much for sharing your story. I just really appreciate you as a person and as a sister in Christ and, part of my inner ring of spiritual family, just, so many ways. I wish I could express my thanks to you in all the really multifaceted ways that you, encourage me, you pray for me.

Your, your friendship is just it’s remarkable. And you’re one of those people that I know God’s got plans that are greater than you could ever imagine. So keep up the good work, girl, and thank you. Thank you. You’ve been listening to Truth and Love podcast with my special guest, Misty Osmond.

And, we just pray that you all will have amazing week, and tune in next week.

Jacob Paul: You’ve been listening to the truth and love podcast with your host, Kimberly Faith. To discover more answers to the big questions in life, visit us at gofaithstrong.com.