I was deep in conversation with a client who was going through a heartbreaking situation when he suddenly burst into tears and asked, “Can you love someone too much?” He was clearly torn to the core by the woman who had left him. His question caught me by surprise. I mean…
Surely, you can’t love someone too much—can you?
As I silently prayed about how to answer him, God reminded me of the words of Jesus:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment.”
Mark 12:30
Then God made the answer crystal clear:
You can’t love someone too much UNLESS you love them more than you love God.
To love a partner or a child more than you love God—is idolatry and—our idols ALWAYS break us. But to love another person WITH the love of God—is—obedience. How do we MEASURE our love for someone else? Well, it’s safe to say we can ask ourselves questions like: Who do we think about most? Who motivates our actions? If we lost the object of our affections, would we be crushed and destroyed? It’s hard to imagine losing the ones we love most.
But we WILL lose people we love—because we live in a fallen world where death and evil destroy life and love.
We MUST prepare our hearts to handle it. There is only one way to do this; that is, to intensify our love-relationship with God. Since I’ve lived alone for most of the last decade, I’ve had the advantage of channeling most of my passion into a relationship with God. Never in a million years would I have thought I could have lived alone for this long. But what I’ve gained is a relationship with God. Now—HE is the only one I KNOW I can NEVER live without!
This is a very healthy shift from where I was before…
You see, I’m an extremist when it comes to falling in love. What I mean is I’m the one who goes to nearly any extreme to please the person I love. I’m guilty of giving to another human—what belongs to God alone—that is, my whole heart. I never saw loving someone else—as idolatry—because I didn’t understand God’s love.
Healthy and perfect love flows from God; we can’t love with GOD’s love if our heart is full of someone else.
C.S. Lewis, in his book “The Four Loves,” wrote:
“We may give our human loves the unconditional allegiance which we owe only to God. Then they become gods: then they become demons. Then they will destroy us, and also destroy themselves. For natural loves that are allowed to become gods do not remain loves. They are still called so, but can become in fact complicated forms of hatred.”
When our love for someone else surpasses our love for God, it WILL lead to a cycle of disappointment. We may place expectations on the other person, expecting them to provide us with the unconditional love that only God can truly offer. However, when we prioritize our love for God above all else, He transforms our affections.
God re-orders our love.
God reshapes our hearts, turning them from empty voids into vibrant springs. His love fills every corner of our being and overflows, extending love to those around us. Instead of harboring a constant sense of need, we become a source of abundant love. This is the way God intended us to experience love.
Loving God with our whole heart allows us to genuinely love others free from the burden of imposing unrealistic expectations on them. By anchoring our love in God, we find the capacity to extend grace, understanding, and compassion to those around us. It is through our love for God that we learn to love others in a way that is selfless and nurturing.
When we love GOD with ALL our heart, we learn to truly love others with a love that never fails.
We would love to hear your thoughts about this devotional. Did God speak to you or challenge your daily walk with him? Or is there a topic that you would like Kimberly to cover or expound on? Please share with us in the comments below.
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10 Responses
I would love to hear your thoughts on once saved always saved
Great question! If you search “eternal security” on the website, you can find several articles. Also the Basic Bible Concept video series answers this question. Here is one of the articles. A quick and easy thought—when we are born again, we have the spiritual genetics of Christ and just like our children can’t change their genetics, we can’t change ours either. Blessings!
https://gofaithstrong.com/eternal-security-how-to-know-you-are-irrevocably-loved/
Thank you for sharing! I never thought loving someone to much and above the Lord. This is an eye opener.
Me either…so glad God continue to teach us from His Word.
such a wonderful lesson. I have been there and experienced it all sad to say.praise GOD for loving and taking me safely through it all even though I wasn’t even thinking of HIMat the time.
Amen! Thank you, Lucy.
This article really hit home. For many years I had made my husband my god. When I made my decisions, it was based off of what he wanted instead of what God desired. And I was unaware of what I was really doing, and how unhealthy it was for both of us and our relationship. Yes it is right and biblical for a wife to desire and seek to please her husband. As long as she does it in balance and seeks God first. When I realized this I repented of it. And I apologized to him for it. I told him from now on I’m seeking my direction from God instead of from him. It was hard for my husband to not have that kind of dependent devotion from me. He felt rejected. Actually unloved. I’m sure I didn’t balance it correctly, especially at first. It was a hard couple of years but we are in a much better, healthier relationship now. And he appreciates it now. It actually took a big load off of him that he didn’t need to be carrying. Thank you for covering this subject.
Leah, thank you for sharing your thoughts! What a blessing to help so many people.
Thank you for this message. Loving someone to much without the knowledge of how God’s unconditional love should always be first. We should put his love first above all else.
God is so good!!!