How Being Hurt By Our Loved Ones Can Make Us Greater Lovers

When you love someone, you make yourself vulnerable to being hurt. In fact, it’s arguable that we are hurt the deepest by those we love the most. If I think about the times that I’ve been hurt the deepest—it’s ALWAYS been by someone I deeply love. But God constantly uses my pain to draw me deeper into the experience of HIS love.

You see, I don’t love anyone else nearly as much as God loves me.

When I think of my transgressions against His perfectly pure love, it puts the offenses of other people in perspective. God always reminds me of the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:22-35:

A king who was calling in debts from his servants. One servant owed 10,000 talents, which is roughly 375 tons of silver, or somewhere north of 225 million dollars. He could not pay. The king ordered that the man and his family (wife and children) should be sold into slavery to pay off the debt. After the man pleaded for mercy, the king decided to have compassion and forgave the debt.

This same servant who had just been forgiven much was owed 100 denarii from a fellow servant. One denarii is typically the daily wage of an average servant, so he owed approximately 100 days wages. However, even though he had just been granted mercy, the unforgiving servant demanded that the other’s debt be paid. When the fellow servant was unable to pay, the unforgiving servant sent him to debtors’ prison until he paid.

The unforgiving servant’s actions were seen and reported to the king. Upon hearing that the forgiven servant refused to also forgive, the king removed his mercy from the man and sent him to be tortured until his debt was paid. Jesus concludes by stating that the Father is like the king, willing to show mercy and forgiveness to those that are also forgiving and willing to show mercy to others. 

I often think of this parable when I am tempted to replay in my mind the offenses of my loved ones. I must let go. The truth is, we all hurt each other because we live in a fallen world. But when we think of how God loves us even though we have hurt Him more than we’ve EVER been hurt by anyone else—it humbles our heart. God bears the pain of OUR offenses and HE forgives and forgets OUR sin “as far as the east is from the west.” (Psalms 103:12)

God’s great love teaches us how to love—by example because—He IS love. (1 John 4:8)

When we are deeply hurt, it is an excellent time to remind ourselves of how much we’ve been the beneficiary of God’s great love. He loves us despite our repeated betrayal. We are guilty of committing the same habitual sins. For me it is things like failing to pray without ceasing and failing to keep Him at the center of all I do. We make little to no effort to change these patterns, yet, we expect Him to bless us and give us the desires of our heart. Mercifully, He still does so much for us. This is love like no love we’ve ever experienced with another human being! This is the love God wants us to give to each other.

My friend, without God’s love, we are lightweight lovers!

The Bible gives us the key to becoming a greater lover: 

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

I John 4:10-11

We become greater lovers of others when God is the center of our life and we love HIM with all our heart, soul, and mind!

We would love to hear your thoughts about this devotional. Did God speak to you or challenge your daily walk with him? Or is there a topic that you would like Kimberly to cover or expound on? Please share with us in the comments below.

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