“Submitting to one another in the fear of God.” Ephesians 5:21
The trad movement is a modern cultural trend that promotes a return to traditional gender roles and family life, often highlighting women as homemakers and men as providers. For some, it’s an aesthetic or lifestyle choice, celebrated on social media with retro images of domesticity, homesteading, and family-centered living. Others frame it as a faith-based conviction, rooted in biblical womanhood and a rejection of secular feminism. Critics argue that it idealizes a past that ignored women’s struggles and risks reinforcing inequities. Still others view it simply as one valid personal choice among many: fulfilling for some women, but limiting for others, depending on whether it’s embraced freely or imposed.
But before we get tangled in cultural debates, we should pause and ask: What does Scripture actually say about our roles within the family and community of God?
First, we must acknowledge that ALL of us SERVE someone or something.
The truth is, no one escapes servanthood. Every human being serves someone or something—whether it’s ourselves, our children, our careers, our desires, or even the expectations of others. Paul put it bluntly:
“Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey?” Romans 6:16
The real issue is not IF we serve, but WHOM we serve.
When we start with ourselves at the center, service quickly becomes exhausting, manipulative, or self-protective. But when we begin with God, life is transformed because we are being powered by God’s desires instead of our own. This power will only flow through us if we are committed to making God our center above all else. Jesus commanded:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37
Serving God first means orienting every part of our lives—our affections, priorities, and actions—around Him.
Paul described himself as a “bondservant of Christ.” (Romans 1:1) That word literally means “slave.” He was saying: I don’t belong to myself anymore. My whole life is God’s. And here’s the paradox: When we give ourselves to God in this way, we discover true freedom. For the first time, our service brings joy, not bondage—because we are serving out of love, not compulsion.
When we are born again, we receive the Holy Spirit, who indwells us, and our service is presented—not in anger, resentment, fear, or selfishness. Rather, He fills us with His fruit. Paul wrote:
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” Galatians 5:22–23
Notice: This fruit doesn’t originate with us. Without Him, we don’t have much love, patience, or kindness to spare. But when the Spirit fills us, He produces an overflow that touches every relationship. We don’t serve out of our own depleted resources—we serve out of God’s abundant supply.
So what does this have to do with the Trad Movement?
This truth reframes the much-debated passage in Ephesians 5. Many focus only on verse 22: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” But they skip the verse right before it: “Submitting to one another in the fear of God.” (Ephesians 5:21) Submission is not a command directed only at women—it is the calling of EVERY believer in EVERY relationship. We ALL submit to someone, whether it’s an employer, a government authority, a military chain of command, a spiritual leader, or a family member in a moment of need.
But even more striking is the command given to husbands: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” (Ephesians 5:25) That is not a call to domination—it is a call to sacrificial love. Husbands are commanded to love in the same way Jesus loved the church—laying down His very life for the good of their wives. In truth, this is a greater responsibility than the call to submit. Wives are called to respect and submit to their husbands, but husbands are called to die to themselves daily, serving their wives with the kind of love that costs everything.
When husbands obey this command faithfully, the debate over “who is more subservient” disappears, because Christlike love is the highest form of submission.
Paul goes even further: “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:28) God designed marriage as a picture of Christ and His church. Both husband and wife are called to serve, honor, and yield to one another, each in ways that reflect God’s order, but both rooted in real love.
Jesus modeled this servanthood. He made it clear that greatness in His kingdom is not about power, but about service:
“Whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:26–28
If the Son of God washed His disciples’ feet, bore their weaknesses, and ultimately gave His life for them, then true discipleship means following in His footsteps. Whether we identify with “trad” values or not, our highest calling is not cultural conformity—it is Christlike service.
When God is at the center, servanthood stops feeling like slavery and becomes an experience of God’s love flowing into us and then out of us into others.
Serving children becomes an overflow of the Spirit’s love. Submitting to a spouse becomes an act of honor to God. Working faithfully for an employer becomes a testimony of integrity. Even mundane tasks become sacred when they are done “as to the Lord and not to men.” (Colossians 3:23)
Being “trad” or “modern” is not the primary issue. The question is: Are we a servant of God first? Because when we love Him above all else, He fills us so abundantly that we cannot help but pour that love into the lives of others.
Reflection Thought
Is your baseline existence exhausted by serving in your own strength, or refreshed by serving out of the overflow of God’s Spirit?
Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank You for showing me that true greatness is found in serving You and making You my center. Help me love You first, with all my heart, soul, and mind, so that everything else flows from You. Fill me with the strength of Your Spirit until my life overflows with love, strength, peace, wisdom, and joy. Teach me to serve my family, co-workers, children, and neighbors—not out of cultural pressure, but out of the abundance of Your presence. Make me a servant after the example of Christ, Who gave Himself totally for me. In Your name, Jesus, Amen.
