Episode 22: John and Lynn McLarty, 50 Years Of Wisdom

Jacob Paul: Welcome to the Truth in Love podcast with your hosts, Kimberly Faith and John Mac. The Truth in Love podcast seeks to present God’s timeless truth through the lens of his remarkable love.

Kimberly Faith: Welcome back to the Truth in Love podcast. Now this is the month of love, right, for pagan reasons, really. And maybe the Catholic church, I don’t know, had something to do with that with Saint Valentine. But, nonetheless, we’re celebrating the month of love, and I cannot think of a better couple to interview for this podcast than my wonderful dad and mother and just to celebrate your 50th anniversary, which is coming up. And you can tell all of our listeners your great secrets.

Lynn McLarty: That’s why it is the month of love. It’s our anniversary. 

Kimberly Faith:  Oh, it was for you two  we are celebrating. 

Lynn McLarty: Yes. 

Kimberly Faith: Okay, mom. I didn’t realize that.

John McLarty: And thank you for putting this together, Kim. It’s going to be our privilege and pleasure.

Kimberly Faith: Well, I want to start by, first of all, just giving the listeners my observations about your relationship. I can honestly say there are not too many. There are very few couples that I know who have the extraordinary relationship that you all have, that is, completely centered in God’s love and in the mission of glorifying God. You know, you and as an adult, looking back over the, you know, the years, the one thing that I can unequivocally say about your your relationship and your marriage is that you definitely have practiced what Jesus said about seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you. Because in all the decisions that I’ve seen you make because your ultimate SOP was to glorify God. Right?

That was the main thing that you set forth to do. Even as immature Christians, you know, you said we’re going to follow you, Lord. And I’ve just seen, you know, of course looking back it’s different than when I was a kid, but as an adult looking back, I just see how God has just gloriously added everything else to you, including a fantastic marriage. Not that you’ve been without issues, you know, because that’s just part of living with another sinner. Right? Not that I would call my mother a sinner, but, you know.

John McLarty:  So I can’t recall any sins she’s ever done. 

Kimberly Faith: I mean, it’s hard. It’s hard to even pinpoint one.

Lynn McLarty: I can think of a lot of them.

Kimberly Faith: So I kind of want to just, starting with that as our general idea, tell our listeners, tell us your secrets.

John McLarty: Well, I think to start with, it is to find the wonderful, perfect wife like Lynn. And something really important, though, is once we were married,  I think we’ve shared our testimony in previous podcasts. We were just wandering hippies, but fell in love with each other, got married. And then God, by his grace, showed us the way of salvation through Christ from the family from Latvia, the Abers. And we were saved within 6 or 7 months of our marriage.

And it wasn’t just a, oh, let’s start going to church, or let’s start reading and studying the Bible. It was a glorious, full 180 degree turn to Christ’s salvation. And that has just, that really set the stage for dedication to God. And it was just so simple to us just to follow God. It wasn’t should we or shouldn’t we. It’s just he really changed our life.

Kimberly Faith: And when you say follow God, you’re talking about following his will and his ways 100%. Lynn McLarty:  Yeah. I think that the people who led us to the Lord, gave us part of our success in their dedication to Christ and their desire to follow him in every way and to live a godly life and be a good example. So that was, like, step one. And then we met our pastor who has been our pastor for almost 50 years. 

And then we’re taught about step two. And I think step two was when we came and we joined our church.  And we’ve been taught about the Bible and have been in the church for almost 50 years, the same church. So that was kind of step two, is getting in a good Bible teaching church.

Kimberly Faith: You know, I have a question for both of you. Dad, you mentioned that you met and fell in love before you knew Jesus. And so for our listeners who I’m sure most people have had that experience at one point, and maybe were not saved, maybe were saved. How would you describe falling in love as a non believer versus being in love as a believer? What’s the difference?

John McLarty: Well, early on, I would say we were soulmates. We fell in love, and our lifestyle was very similar. We were all about, if you recall, your early days, we were both involved in food production.

Kimberly Faith: The hippie movement.

John McLarty: Yeah. The back to the land. So, just our lifestyle was very similar. And then when we got saved, it was really the same that we were both on the same page spiritually.

But the difference, I think, was growth. We began to grow spiritually. And that’s you know, a lot of love stories start with this great love, but they you know, just life happens and hardships happen, and it can, evidently, dissipate when hardships come. But we got on that spiritual growth path. And I just really want to point out that Lynn and I weren’t some kind of spiritual giants back then. Like, we were not above and beyond everybody around us. Because as Lynn said, within about a year and a half, we joined this small church, about 50 people. But everybody was on the same level of dedication. And it was like, there wasn’t a different choice.

Kimberly Faith: Enthusiastic spiritual babies?

John McLarty: Enthusiastic spiritual babies, but you went to church Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and everybody was doing that. It almost wasn’t an option to not be that way. So it wasn’t like Lynn and I were some spiritually, you know, above anybody else. We were just like that was the norm. 

Kimberly Faith: Right.

John McLarty: And that really set a strong pattern in our life. And it wasn’t obviously just going to church, but encouraged to read our Bible, you know, pray, study the bible.

Kimberly Faith:  It was about commitment because what love really is a commitment, a commitment to God, not just a check the box Christianity.

John McLarty: And then there’s that service that bonds you together.

Kimberly Faith: Right. 

John McLarty: Because you have this common goal of loving God, going to church. I mean, we started in the children’s church, you know, would take on a class or became youth group leaders. 

Kimberly Faith: What do you think, mom? What was the difference for you?

Lynn McLarty: Well, I would say being with people in our marriage, in other people’s marriage, all committing together to serve God. But that commitment to God, even, I would say, cemented our commitment to one another in a way that they were both commitments. So it was like a commitment and other people being committed to do the same thing, to serve God, to love one another. It’s not that we we’re with perfect people, but we were with imperfect people who love God and were committed to serve him and that kept our marriage cemented because we had the same goals and purposes.

Kimberly Faith: You know, that  kind of reminds me, you’re with imperfect people who love the perfect God.

Lynn McLarty: Yes.

Kimberly Faith: And it reminds me of this idea, we’ve written extensive devotionals about it and talked about it a lot, is the difference between the kind of love we can have physically as humans, even physically, emotionally, mentally, versus supernatural love. When we’re unified in God’s supernatural love, that is a spiritual love that moves our soul and our spirit that are regenerated. And that foundation is much stronger than the foundation that is rooted in maybe hippieville or you know, back to the land movement or maybe even being lawyers, you know, if you’re both lawyers or both artists or something, having a common purpose, physical purpose. But you have a common spiritual purpose, which is an eternal purpose. And it  kind of reminds me of what Paul the Apostle said in Romans 8:38 to 39, says I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. If that’s the foundation for your marriage, you got it made in the shade, so to speak. Right?

Lynn McLarty:  That’s Right.

Kimberly Faith: But what I’m hearing you say is this wasn’t some hocus pocus. It was a commitment. That your love for Christ was manifested in your commitment to discipline yourselves, to unify yourselves with a body of people who would also have the same commitment, which strengthened your marriage.

John McLarty: I think that’s an important point that we experienced that. We weren’t just taught that in, like, a marriage class. Like, this is how you should be.

Kimberly Faith: Right.

John McLarty: We joined this group of people that were all living like that. And we experienced that love from them. And we were able to give that love to others. And just, you know, you think about a small church, 50 people. If somebody moved, the whole church would show up with food and trucks and trailers and, you know, move a family from one house to another.

Kimberly Faith: Yeah. It’s family. It’s a supernatural family.

John McLarty: And when you think about it, that’s discipleship. 

Kimberly Faith: Yeah.

John McLarty:  When you’re experiencing that, you’re not just being taught about it. You’re experiencing that. Or if somebody was in the hospital, our pastor was a big influence, and his wife, Martha, of just how to be compassionate.

So we saw that. We experienced it. Then we began to be like that. Then that blessing of serving that you feel that, you know, that God is blessing your life through service, being a teacher or helping somebody else. So it really was discipleship

Lynn McLarty: Yeah. 

John McLarty: In action. 

Lynn McLarty: And just, you know, church is imperfect. You’re filled with imperfect people, so you’re learning from the imperfect mistakes and choices people make, and you’re learning from those who make good choices. 

Kimberly Faith: Right.

Lynn McLarty: So I would say that John and I have learned from other people’s mistakes and other people’s victories over our flesh, because we’re all just flesh.

Kimberly Faith: You bring up such a good point, mom. So glad you brought that up, because  I think in today’s culture, the church has taken, has been very, the image of the church has been very damaged by people abandoning the church. And when I say the church, what I’m talking about is not some universal church. I’m talking about the local new testament churches. This is what you’re talking about. Right?

Lynn McLarty: That’s right.

Kimberly Faith: And so many people view, you know, they’re going to have their insular little family that’s going to be isolated over here, you know, out in the woods, and they’re going to  create their own church. Right?  But if you read the New Testament, that’s not at all what was happening in the New Testament. That’s not what Jesus talked about.

And I think what I’m hearing you say is that one of the foundations, the best parts or the best most critical parts of having a successful marriage is to be part of a church that you’re joining not because it’s the perfect church, but because you want to be part of the perfection of the church.

Lynn  McLarty: That’s right. 

John McLarty: That’s really interesting because this one verse that I underlined here for this discussion is, it’s Ephesians 4, and  verse 12, and it’s the purpose of the church. And the church was given different leadership offices or positions. And verse 12 says, for the perfecting of the saints. It’s so,  the saints aren’t perfect, but it’s for the perfecting of the saints, the growth. So for the perfecting of the saints, the work of the ministry. So you have this common work. And then for the edifying of the body of Christ.

Kimberly Faith: Wow. And, you know, dad, this is why the holy spirit is here right now. You didn’t tell me you were going to read that verse. I didn’t know you’re going to read that verse. I didn’t know mom was going to say what she just said, but the holy spirit is clearly in charge of this podcast. We didn’t rehearse this. 

John McLarty: No. 

Kimberly Faith: Well, so the church obviously played a very important part in accountability, discipline, because if you weren’t there, there was accountability. Right? And you had people following up with you.

Lynn McLarty: Yeah. They’d be calling us. John, Lynn, are you alright? Everything okay?

Kimberly Faith: Like a family.

Lynn McLarty: Like a family. Yeah.

Kimberly Faith: I think, you know, one of the things that the Lord has taught me over the years about love is that when you build your greatest love around your love for God, you know, then you have someone who loves you for who you are, not for your performance. And then you can love other people for who they are. You know, warts and all. Right?

Instead of having expectations, you have an expectancy, which is a huge difference. You know, that’s what I observe in your marriage is that you all don’t really place expectations on each other. You both just are so excited even first thing in the morning waking up. Hey, babe. How are you? Give me a kiss. And you’ve been married a lot of years. Is that accurate?

John McLarty: That is very accurate. And I’m saying other big factors like to have a common goal that’s not necessarily to have this perfect relationship, but the common goal for Christians is to glorify God and to be involved in soul winning. So that gives you a common goal. So you’re almost immediately I’ll say a band of brothers mentality. Or you’re this team that has a mission.

Lynn McLarty: Yeah. 

John McLarty: And the mission isn’t necessarily just to get closer and closer to each other. It’s to serve God. But that makes you closer and closer.

Lynn McLarty: Right. Because you have a bigger purpose

John McLarty: You have a bigger purpose.

Kimberly Faith:  Than self. 

Lynn McLarty: Then just self satisfaction.

Kimberly Faith: Right.

Lynn McLarty: I think we, as women, I can speak for me as a woman, that we look for love. We look for a love that is satisfying our needs instead of meeting the needs of others, and God satisfies our greatest need.

Kimberly Faith: Right.

Lynn McLarty: And instead of expecting our mate to satisfy that  greatest need, God really satisfies the greatest need, and we are giving love to our mate.

Kimberly Faith: Right. Because if we expect to get the kind of love that only God can give us from our mate, we will crush that person with our expectation.

Lynn McLarty: That’s right.

Kimberly Faith: But if we allow God to fulfill that greatest need, then we don’t need anything from anybody else. We’d like to have it because that’s part of the way God made us.

Lynn McLarty: Right.

Kimberly Faith: But we were not getting that the way we need to from our mate or from even just a friend, you know, even just our friendships, our parents, maybe, our children. We don’t have to crush them with that expectation, instead we can be free to pray for them. And to pray that God will also meet their need for love. Because then once you have all ,  I love the book of Galatians Chapter 5 where Paul  contrasts the fruit of the spirit with the works of the flesh because it’s so glorious to be outwardly flowing with the fruit of the spirit, love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, gentleness, meekness. And that only happens when you’re so full of God that you have to give it away.

John McLarty: I’m kind of having a revelation here. I’m thinking about this common goal. And when you hear about a band of brothers or then I’m thinking about sports teams that bond with each other. Or, you know, the movie, the Lord of the Rings, the fellowship of the ring. It wasn’t just a group of people that got together and said, hey. Let’s really bond with each other. That’s our goal. We’re just going to get together, and our goal is to bond with each other.

Kimberly Faith: Right.

John McLarty: And that in a sense could be kind of just selfish. But they had all those cases for, say, it’s warfare. We’re going to defeat Hitler or a sports team. We’re going to win the championship or, you know, some movie where somebody’s bonded in a crisis situation. But because they’re pursuing a common goal, which for the Christian and for the Christian couple is to serve God, to glorify God, and to be part of soul winning  and encouraging the brethren. And by pursuing that common goal, the two participants grow closer.

Lynn McLarty:  And you do that. The Lord’s given us a church to do that in. 

John McLarty: Yeah.

Lynn McLarty:  I think of, an army a team of the army. I don’t know what you call the smaller groups that

Kimberly Faith: Unit?

Lynn McLarty:  Unit.  I mean, if your brother falls down, you lift him up because he’s on your team.

Kimberly Faith: Right. 

Lynn McLarty: You don’t just abandon him. Like, okay. Go your own way. Get shot over here. You know? You’re sticking together, and you’re encouraging one another because you have the same goal. And you do that. God’s given us the church to do that in, he’s given us the family in the church to do that.

Kimberly Faith: Right.

Lynn McLarty: And it’s a strong commitment to your unit.

Kimberly Faith: And think about the multifaceted benefit of a church versus just a family. You know, a family has a limited pool of talent and abilities and strengths, but a church that all has the common purpose to love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, and mind and glorify God, right, and carry out the great commission, which is to go ye therefore make disciples. Then you’ve got, you know, a person who’s really good at woodworking, maybe teaching your son or daughter how to make, you know, a woodworking project, maybe build a chair. But while they’re doing that, they’re teaching the child how to glorify God.

Lynn McLarty: Yeah. 

Kimberly Faith: And they’re fulfilling a need in that child that you could never fulfill. And there’s all this cross pollination, like your bees. Right, dad?

John McLarty: That’s a good analogy. There is that multi talented pool of people.

Kimberly Faith: So you have been talking about how the church has strengthened your marriage. Is there anything else that you want to kind of talk about with that?

Lynn McLarty: Well, I was just thinking about how we need to not be critical of that other person in the unit. As we’re serving together because we all have our shortcomings, and we’re all flesh, and we all fight against the same devil.

The, you know, flesh would have been selfish and self centered. So as we see our brethren selfish and self centered, we don’t want to be critical of them because we’re the same way. We make bad choices at times, so we have to give one another as a couple room to make mistakes but we’re there to lift them up and to glorify God together. So we want their life glorifying God as we want our life to glorify God.

John McLarty: And I think that’s a great example. Lynn and I were  thinking of the same thing, of giving each other. She said room. I was just thinking about giving each other space and realizing there’s different eras of our life. So, you know, here we are with  almost 50 years of marriage, and you have to realize  there are  different eras of your life where, like, early on when I was working, I retired in 2016,  but I had to be at work every morning, 7:30 or 8. So I wouldn’t have these long mornings like Lynn could have these long mornings of quiet time and prayer, but she wouldn’t put some expectation on me. Well, why aren’t you having 2 and 3 hours a day of prayer?

Kimberly Faith: Right.

John McLarty: She just understood I was in a different situation. And then my strength at the time was I got into concept studies. So it’s very analytical. It’s very you know, here’s the outline. 

Kimberly Faith: Right.

John McLarty: I was reading the Bible not so much to have God speak to me directly, but for a long time, it’s like, oh, that would be great for body, soul, and spirit, or that verse would fit here. So we just had a different experience,  and Lynn would read the bible. She was like, oh, let me tell you what God showed me today personally, one  on one. 

Kimberly Faith: Yeah. 

John McLarty: So we just  kind of let each other, you know, express their talent at  the time of life they were in.

Kimberly Faith: You were able to love them the way that God loved you. 

Lynn McLarty: Yeah. 

Kimberly faith: Yeah. Each other.

John McLarty: And understand there’s differences.

Kimberly Faith:  Right. 

John McLarty: And then I think long term, the advice we could give is that things do change over time. 

Kimberly Faith: Right.

John McLarty:  So like I’d say, in the last 5 years, I’ve become more oriented towards being in the word and that one on one speaking. I reread, like, the writings of Paul. And I’d used to  find concept study verses, and now I’m going like, oh my. Paul was such a people person. He was so involved with his brothers and sisters in Christ.

Kimberly Faith: Right.

John McLarty:  And that really jumped out. 20 years ago, I never caught that, that Paul was like that.

Kimberly Faith: That’s why the Bible is so incredible. It’s just like, you could read the same verse over and over again in a different area of your life. The holy spirit can teach you something completely new from the same verse that you read even last week. You know? You know, something, mom, you said that, you were talking about loving the people where they were. Right? And a verse that came to my mind, that really, I think, is profound in helping us understand. You know, Jesus told us in John 13:34, he said, a new commandment I give you,  to love one another just as I have loved you,  to love one another. That is huge. I have never considered that I could ever love somebody else like Jesus loved me. Well, we can’t unless we’re loving Jesus like we’re supposed to love him.

Lynn McLarty: Right.

Kimberly Faith: But then in Ephesians 5:25, the Bible talks about husband, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. You know, the church is precious to Jesus. And when we treat it like it’s trash or treat somebody in it like they’re less than us or we look down our noses or judge or whatever, we’re doing, you know, disrespect. We have to be very, I mean, if the holy spirit’s presence is in us, then that’s going to be very grieving to the holy spirit if we’re disrespecting another church member. Sure, we might need to help them, but we better do it with the attitudes of Christ, you know, a very meek attitude, a very poor in spirit attitude, a very high awareness of our own sin and our own flaw flawness. Right? Is that a word flawness?

Lynn McLarty: I think so.

Kimberly Faith: Flawfulness.  And I think that principle is if we would apply that across the board in all relationships, man, we would have more relationships than we could as the sands of the sea because people are drawn to that.

Lynn McLarty: Yeah. And the wife is, you know,  I just think a wife kind of controls the heart of the home, you know, and her forgiveness and her servanthood. So, I mean, I’ve learned that my husband’s a good teacher.

Kimberly Faith: Right.

Lynn McLarty: Well, I’m good at serving. His bible studies that he has at home, my role, as the Lord has shown me, is just to serve. So I’m not going to be over there teaching. He’s going to  be teaching, and I’m going to be serving.

Kimberly Faith: And he’s serving.

Lynn McLarty: And he’s serving. 

Kimberly Faith: Right. 

Lynn McLarty: So it’s a team.

Kimberly Faith: It’s a partnership.

Lynn McLarty: It’s a team effort. It’s not like I need to be the main one teaching, and he needs to be serving me. God’s given us both, it’s kind of like he’s put our marriage together as a unit. 

Kimberly Faith: Yeah.

Lynn McLarty: And we’ve become one,  and we don’t you know, I don’t envy his role and want to  be like him, and he doesn’t want to, you know..

Kimberly Faith: And it’s not that the roles are lesser. You know? A lot of people take the, you know, the book of Ephesians, especially, and say, well, you know, wives, you need to submit. Husbands, you need to, you know, whatever. And the thing that I think you miss the whole point of what Jesus is saying, love like I love. 

Well, Jesus was a servant.  And the incredible thing about the personality of God and the whole persona of God is if you read about who God is, sure, we know his nature is righteous, just, and loving, but he personifies strength like that that we can’t even comprehend, but he also shows compassion that we can’t even wrap our mind around. And you mentioned that women are the heart. I think for the most part, that’s true, that we are supposed to manifest all of the characteristics of God because they’re so profoundly diverse that it takes multiple people to be able to even manifest what God looks like to our small human imagination.

John McLarty: And one of the talents Lynn has and has developed is she is a prayer warrior.

Kimberly Faith: She’s inspired me.

John McLarty: And that has inspired me. 

Kimberly Faith: Yes. 

John Mclarty: So now that I have more time and then through an experience in a church, we went to Taunyas’s, your sister’s,  church down in Houston, and we were challenged in the sermon to have a prayer list. And I thought, well, Lynn has a prayer list. Why don’t I have one? And a lot of people started their prayer list that day.

Kimberly Faith: I did.

John McLarty: And it has changed my prayer life for the good.

Kimberly Faith: Yeah. And mom’s been a great example of that. She’s always had her little brown book.

John McLarty: But, Lynn, never I don’t think ever once said to me, well, I have a prayer list. Why don’t you have one?

Kimberly Faith: She wasn’t your holy spirit.

John McLarty: Right.

Kimberly Faith: Yeah. Yeah.

Lynn McLarty: I think we have to give each other space to just develop as the Lord leads us because we can’t be each other’s holy spirit.

Kimberly Faith:  I like to call that grace space.

John McLarty: Grace space. And there are  differences.

Kimberly Faith:  Right. 

Lynn McLarty: There are  differences, and we need to be that encourager for that person. We’re to encourage each other in the church, and  in a marriage.

Kimberly Faith: Yeah.

Lynn McLarty: It’s not encouraging to sit there and shake your finger at your partner.

Kimberly Faith: Let me ask this question. Okay. So what advice would you give to a person in a relationship? Could be a, you know, familial relationship, father, son, mother, daughter, could be a marriage, it could be a friendship. When you see that person, when you see a person who is clearly hurting the relationship like the other person is hurting the relationship, what advice would you give to the person who wants to help repair the relationship about how to do that?

John McLarty: I think of the verse. I’m not sure where it is, but  it’s,  let this mind be in you, which is also in Christ Jesus, and that you esteem others more highly than yourself. It’s like to help that other person,  to serve the other person.

Kimberly Faith: To draw them to repentance by the goodness of God.

John McLarty: Right. 

Kimberly Faith: Yeah. Yeah. 

Lynn McLarty: Not by our correction to them because we can’t change each other. Only God’s spirit can change us.

Kimberly Faith: That’s so powerful because you know, dad, we did this whole beatitudes podcast series, and I think you guys hit the nail on the head. I mean, unless you have an attitude of your complete need for God and your complete awareness of how horrible sin is and how it kills everything. And you can view that view that person through the lens of the attitudes of Christ.

John McLarty:  Exactly. 

Kimberly Faith: You can’t help them, but you can show them what God looks like. You can show them the goodness of God through the developing the attitudes that Jesus gave us in the amazing Sermon on the Mount. And is there anyone who’s going to  say, oh, quit loving me so much or quit giving me a sense of peace? No. People are not going to say that unless they’re just out of their mind. You know? So I love that that’s your solution.

Lynn McLarty: Yeah. Just love them and give them space and pray for them.

Kimberly Faith: So okay. So we’re getting: did you have something to say?

John McLarty: Well, It just goes back to if someone is, if there’s disharmony, the thing you can do is find your own joy. It’s like, let this mind be in you, which is in Christ Jesus. Don’t let the situation rob you of your own joy because no one can take that from you because that comes from God.

Kimberly Faith: Right. I mean, Paul had that in prison.

John McLarty: Right. Paul had it in prison. So that lets you show the love of Christ that’s putting on Christ.

Lynn McLarty: And continue to do the things God wants you to do. 

John McLarty: Right.

Kimberly Faith: Right. 

Lynn McLarty: And develop your relationship with God because you can’t help somebody if you let that go and you get in a depressed state.  And you’re not really helping anything. You’re not even helping yourself.

Kimberly Faith: Yeah. Because you’re drinking the poison, basically. 

John McLarty: Right. 

Kimberly Faith: You know, you’re not able to experience full forgiveness towards that person, and you’re letting them poison the  well of your joy. And sometimes, I mean,  I’ve had clients in in bad situations and or even just close friends, and I have said, it’s time to remove yourself from this situation because and if you are not glorifying God because there’s so much poison being poured into your well, then you need to take a step back.

And that person, the other person is going to feel the withdrawal of your sense of the presence of God, because God’s presence in us is so powerful when we let it flow through us. And I know in, you know,  I won’t say who, but one of my family members, growing up, this family member, he well, never mind. He, you know, if I distanced myself, there was a panic. What have I done? What let’s make it right. It was almost like there was this, great anxiety that the relationship had been breached, and it was really important.

You know? And that goodness that you bring to the table through exercising the fruit of the spirit that you aren’t producing, that Christ is producing, really builds a bond. And if you withdraw that, a great gaping hole of longing for that other person. Does that make sense?

John McLarty: It does. Lynn, my lovely wife sitting here,  is a joyful person. And if we are going through a family struggle, whatever it is, a car’s blown up, or the air conditioner went out,  or some , you know, out of 8 children, one of them is having a crisis. I get a lot of encouragement from Lynn’s joy, because she has that relationship with God that I’m getting,  like I say, I was more analytical and could teach the Bible studies, but Lynn’s relationship with God has been a great encouragement to me.

Kimberly Faith: And you would not have wanted to be teaching those Bible studies if you weren’t drinking in the spirit through the life of your partner. Right?

John McLarty: Exactly.

Kimberly Faith: Well, okay. So this is so good, and we haven’t even really told your love story. And so I want to just open up the floor for the last 5 minutes or so to either share an experience or give a like, the one thing that you would give as advice to our listeners to have a lasting love relationship that you’ve had over the last 50 years. And you can take more than 5 minutes if we need to.

Lynn McLarty: Well, I think one important thing is, if you have a disagreement, don’t let the sun go down on your wrath. You know, you love one another. Like, if we grieve the Lord, our heart is we don’t like that. We don’t like that separation. If we’ve done something to grieve God, we need to immediately want to get that right.

So, other than the church and the unit and with things we’ve talked about, I would say if you have a disagreement, have a desire to get that right. Fix it. You know, if you can’t fix it. You might need to apologize. You might need to, you know, talk things out.

Kimberly Faith: Have a hard conversation.

Lynn McLarty: Yeah. So you need to not let that linger between,  that separation in the relationship, you don’t want that to stay that way.

Kimberly Faith: How do you approach a hard conversation to talk about something that’s, you know, maybe separating you?

Lynn McLarty: Well, the best way is just to go get with that person. Sometimes you have to give them some space. You know? And if there’s a problem, sometimes you just need, whether it’s between you and God, sometimes you need space to kind of figure out what you’ve done in the relationship that has caused that separation. So sometimes you both need a little space, but then you need to reconcile. So you need to come together. You need to have a heart of yieldedness, of listening to the other person, of forgiveness, and then kiss and make up.

Kimberly Faith: Okay, dad. What about you?

John McLarty: So I’ll give kind of the other side of that coin, but it’s in total agreement to talk out the problems. But one thing I’ve learned is before you have that talk, don’t say the first thing that comes to your mind because our mind is so much tied to our flesh. And I’m,  so I’m just going to  give an example. Say Lynn, and it’s hard to imagine Lynn hurting my feelings, but I’ll just give an example. Say we have a big group, and she brings somebody, you know ,she says who wants coffee and pie?

And she fails to realize I’m sitting there. So she’s bringing other people pie and coffee, and I might be sitting there going, but what about me? So, say that hurts my feelings. And then everybody leaves, and I’m sitting there with hurt feelings. So the question is whether to talk about it or not. And sometimes I’ll go and I’ll just get by myself, and I’ll realize Lynn absolutely loves me. 

And that was just arbitrary. She didn’t mean anything by that, so I’m not even going to bring it up. And I pray about it. 

Kimberly Faith: Yeah. 

John McLarty: And if this is true. If that feeling dissipates upon prayer, like, oh, okay. I’m just going to pass on this one. 

Kimberly Faith: Right. 

John McLarty: But if after I’ve prayed about it, there’s, no, like I we should talk about this. But just to get my feelings aired. And Lynn, of course, could be, I’m sorry. You know? But sometimes you ponder something and your first words change.

Kimberly Faith: Right. Right.

John McLarty:  And you go like, I’m glad, I’m sure glad I didn’t just blast that out. 

Kimberly Faith: Yeah. 

John McLarty: So ponder it and then see if the spirit wants it discussed.

Lynn McLarty: And I like to say something about that too, because sometimes, if after dad’s pondered it and prayed about it and  kind of got his first reaction out of the way and then we discuss it, it could be a good alerting thing for me because I think we should be thinking about our mates.  And serving them,  that’s part of loving them. So I remember when we had, I think it was the graduation from college, and we had probably a 100 people in our house. And I remember, and this isn’t just to pat myself on the back, but I remember having this whole house.

It was standing room only, and my husband was talking to I think it was brother Kenny. And, I remember going up to him in the midst of all these people and saying, honey, would you like a cup of coffee? And I think that not only honored him. That I was thinking about him, but it was, a blessing to him that 

Kimberly Faith: Testimony.

Lynn McLarty: It  was a testimony to others around him.

Kimberly faith:  Right. 

Lynn McLarty: That here is this whole house full of people.

Kimberly Faith: I remember that.

Lynn McLarty: And I went up and asked my husband if he’d like a cup of coffee. 

Kimberly Faith: Right. 

Lynn McLarty: So I think that him bringing that up to me, if I have a yielded heart and want to love my husband in ways like that, then it can be a thing to remind me.

Kimberly Faith: Well, I think something that comes to mind hearing you talk is, especially what you said, dad, is that we have, we could trust the other person’s character and their relationship with God. Then we know their motivation is good. Yeah. And then we were able to easily take ourselves out of the equation, those hurt feelings. And I’m like, no, I trust this person’s character.

Mom would have never left me out on purpose or to slight me or to, you know, to shame me or anything like that. She was just busy.

John McLarty: Right.

Kimberly Faith:  And then suddenly, you’re out of the equation because you trust the person’s character. And honestly, I think that is the number one problem that we have in trusting God is we do not trust his character because if we did trust his character, everyone who knows us would know him. He would be so prevalent, like, kind of like when you first fall in love with somebody, your whole face lights up and you can’t shut up about the other person because you’re so in love with them. Right? That’s the way we want to  learn to trust God, to trust his character implicitly so that in every aspect of our life, anytime we have anxiety, it’s proof that we aren’t trusting the character of God. And is that right? Okay. So I have one more question.

Lynn McLarty: Well, let me just make a comment.

Kimberly Faith: Okay. Yep.

Lynn McLarty: Me learning from him, maybe I could take it as criticism of how I behaved.

Kimberly Faith: So badly behaved, mom.

Lynn McLarty: Yeah. But if I’m trusting

John McLarty: She didn’t bring me coffee

Kimberly Faith: Oh my gosh.

John McLarty: That time, 10 years ago.

Lynn McLarty: But if I’m trusting him like you’re saying, if I’m trusting that his heart is to love me and forgive me and, you know, that he wants the best for me .

Kimberly Faith: Right. 

Lynn McLarty: Then, I can yield at that time and say, well, this criticism is to benefit me.

Kimberly Faith: Right. Right. We trust the criticism. We trust the character.

Lynn McLarty: We trust the character.

Kimberly Faith: Right. So okay. One last question. So I want each of you to tell everyone what your favorite thing is about the other person. Mom, ladies first.

Lynn McLarty: Well, I don’t know even if there’s one favorite thing. I mean, there’s just so many things. I feel very loved and secure that dad is my best friend. You know, we have a friendship, and we have a love that I feel totally secure in. That I feel like, just totally like, I totally depend upon dad, but it’s because of his walk with the Lord in Christ. I can totally rest in this relationship. There’s not a struggle to love my husband because I know he loves God and he loves me, and he’s watching out for me. 

Kimberly Faith: Dad?

John McLarty: Oh, that’s so sweet. Well, that’s my favorite thing about Lynn, what we just saw, her sincerity, her love of God, and her joyful spirit.

Kimberly Faith: I just, you know,  I think just listening to both of you, I’m grateful that I grew up as your child because you modeled so many things that have been planted deep in my soul. And I just want to  publicly thank you for being such a strong example of Jesus, and thank you for doing this podcast. And happy Valentine’s Day and happy 50th anniversary, you two.

John McLarty: This is day one. We’re going to celebrate 50 days for 50 years, and this is day one. So this is wonderful.

Kimberly Faith: So fortuitous. Well, you have been listening to the Truth in Love podcast, celebrating 50 years of love with my parents, John and Lynn McLarty. Thank you for listening.  And have a great week.

Jacob Paul: You’ve been listening to the Truth in Love podcast with your hosts, Kimberly Faith and John Mac. To discover more answers to the big questions in life, visit us at gofaithstrong.com.